Tuesday

I know I've said it before but wow I'm a really sucky blogger these last few months!

I've got a few things I can give updates on so here goes:

I'm currently on CD5. I went to the FS on Saturday for the CD2 baseline scan and had a quick chat to our FS. He is not happy about putting me on any medication. The first reason being that I ovulate on my own and my hormones are all fine. The second reason is that he doesn't know how I'll respond to the different meds, he seems worried about over stimulation. Everybody seems too damn cautious for my liking! Anyway aside from the meds we asked how many more IUIs he'd like to have us do before moving on to IVF. He seems to think that two more should be sufficient. After the last cycle I was already ready to throw in the towel with IUIs. I know IVF is more expensive but IUIs are pretty expensive too, especially with the scans and the cost of donor sperm. We left feeling pretty unmotivated and not convinced. But later I remembered that I wanted to ask him about why I was spotting a week before AF arrived. So luckily I have his email and sent him a quick one. Sunday morning he replied (impressive!) and said that that is a crucial piece of information and that I probably have low progrest.erone in the second half of my cycle. He said I'll be given a progest.erone after my IUI. Finally something!

Anyway we're still only convinced that we want to do one more IUI then move on. Lets hope we'll still have the finances available to move on to IVF.

I'm working at the moment, which is surprisingly good (touch wood). I only have a few weeks left and for once I wish it was a bit more. I have no supervision and can go out whenever and wherever I want. And I have my own office, which is bliss!

I've started a little business too. N suggested it actually and its taken off quite nicely. I started baking and selling to the staff at her company. My main orders have been Buttermilk Rusks, Peanut Butter Biscuits, Chocolate Dandy Biscuits and Banana Bread. The last few weekends have consisted of hours and hours of endless baking, but I'm enjoying thoroughly and hoping it will get busier. The cold weather is good as people tend to buy more comforting yummy snacks.

And that's it for now. I won't take forever to update again....I hope!

Friday

Yet another failed cycle!

Last week Tuesday and Wednesday mornings we had the IUIs. I've felt nothing so far but to my horror this morning I started spotting. I know AF is on the way, I can feel it. My cycle seems to have gotten shorter and shorter, I mean we triggered on CD9, did IUI # 1 on CD 10 already. It seems so quick to me but the FS said the timing was fine.

I don't know what our next step is. I'm so tired of wasting time and good money on useless IUIs.

My FS is on holiday so I can't even talk to him. When I phoned his rooms I did speak to the nurse though and she suggests that I come for my CD2 scan and insist on seeing a doctor for a more aggressive approach. I'm assuming that would just mean medication - probably Clomid which I didn't respond well to in February. If I have to make an appointment to see my FS I'll have to wait for weeks. This is all so frustrating. I wish it was so easy and I could just say I'm done,no more, but I want this more than anything, I need this!

Monday

This mornings scan showed a 20mm follicle on the right ovary and a 10.5mm lining. Can things change that drastically over only a couple of days? A different doctor did the scan, it was actually the doctor that did my surgery, so I'm not sure if they just measure differently or what. Tonight between 18:00 - 20:00 I have to do the trigger then IUI tomorrow and Wednesday. Timing seems out to me for various reasons.

I'm trying my best to get back into my happy place but things aren't working so well lately. I know life is supposed to be full of ups and downs, but how many downs is one person really supposed to get, when will my limit be reached?

Friday

I'm a bad blogger, I know this! I haven't been blogging lately mostly because I haven't had anything constructive to contribute. I've been feeling so up and down this last week, one minute I'm in tears the next I'm fine. Just silly!

Anyway today I'm on CD6. I went in this morning to have an office Hysteroscopy and it wasn't too bad. I took pain killers beforehand just in case. I didn't have a chance to google the procedure so I didn't know what to expect. My FS was so good though, explaining along the way what he was doing and what I would be feeling. And of course N holding my hand and trying to get my concentration away from the pain & discomfort.

What he does is insert the speculum (have I told you how much I hate that damn thing?!). Then he wipes the mouth of the cervix. He then clamps the cervix while he gets this scary alien-looking instrument with a syringe filled with water on one end and whatever else it was at the other end. He inserts this thing through the cervix into the uterus and as the camera looks around he pushes water in. This is where the cramping begins. Once the view is clear he checked out the site where the septum was removed from and all was good. He removed all the instruments and said I'd have some water coming out for the next two days. So when I felt a little gush I thought nothing of it until he looked again and got slightly flustered - all the liquid was in fact blood. He said it was fine and wiped up as much as possible.

Next he did a follicle scan. It was the highlight of my day because he found two follicles - 10mm & 12mm. Usually I only make one follicle hence my excitement. I'm slightly concerned (although he isn't) that my lining is only 4mm, I wonder at what rate it thickens?

Monday morning I'll be back for another follicle scan.

In other news, our medical aid has totally totally let us down. The surgery that we paid for out of our own pockets was supposed to be refunded by the medical aid but no such luck. The bastards have now said they'll only refund 1/3 of the bill and then after that we still owe the hospital a HUGE co-payment. I have fought for the last three days with these idiots and there's just no way out. They absolutely infuriate me!

Our FS's practice has been in the media quite a lot lately. The FS that did my surgery was interview on regarding a type of IVF that might be available in the near future. And then my usual FS was the main guest on an hour long show about infertility. I was really impressed!