Monday

Now that I've figured out that posting pics isn't the fault of blogger but actually mine (thanks AWJ) I thought I'd post the pics as promised.

Firstly, N's accident in February

Friday

Thank you all for your comments, we appreciate them all so much.

A lot of things have been going on lately. We seem to constantly be busy and not get any time to ourselves (whats new?!). The company that N works for got sold, they let all the staff go but kept N and her manager. They are understaffed and crazy busy so she's tired all the time and still recovering from the accident. Luckily we don't have to deal with only having one car, her mom lent her her car till she gets a new one, since I'm working again it would be so difficult to only use my car. Being back at work after 8 months is quite an adjustment, getting up so early and been away from home the whole day seems like such a distant memory.

Once again there's so much nonsense going on with my mom's company that my brother is running. My stress levels are at an all time high at the moment. I'm thinking about going for acupuncture as I hear that amongst other things it can be a great stress reliever.

On the TTC side of things - we are unsure how this cycle will go. We are finally able to go to a FS, but because of the timing of the appointment we might have to give this cycle a miss. Our appointment is on CD14, the day that I would normally ovulate and according to one of their nurses they are very strict and would first like me to undergo some testing before doing another IUI. Also they get their donor sperm from the opposite side of the country so it takes a bit of time before it gets here. I'm really upset that we'll have to skip this cycle as its our last chance for a 2010 baby, but I don't seem to have any control over this.

I've heard very good things about this group of fertility specialists so we're hoping that they live up to their good name. The particular FS that we could get an appointment with is believed to be a bit conservative and old school as far as seeing same sex couples are concerned. Apparently all the doctors get to see you at some point, I'm hoping that he's going to turn out to be nice.

Last week Tuesday our friends baby, Madison, was born. WOW! What a beautiful little girl. 3.18kg, 54cm and perfect! I went to see her in the hospital two days after she was born and was so taken back, the tears just flowed. She is now 1 week 3 days and has the best god parents ever - US!! We were ecstatic to hear that her parents had named us the god parents, what a privilege. I've already held her and fed her and am now overwhelmed by the need for our own little one. N is over the moon and I think Madison's birth has just given us that extra bit of confidence that we need to know that we can do this, we just need to get pregnant!!

Scary day!

On Friday at about 15:00 I got word that N had been in a car accident. I immediately left home for the accident site. Obviously I was beyond panicked and drove like a maniac to get there. As I got closer the traffic was backed up on all sides due to the accident. I pulled onto the pavement, got out my car and started running up toward the site. Her car then started being more visible and the state that it was in and I was hit by the wave of shock. When I got closer and saw her dad I just started crying and asking where she was. Eventually they said she was ok but that the ambulance had taken her to the hospital. The police started asking me questions which I answered but then brushed them off to try get an understanding of what had happened. They gave me the address of the hospital and I ran back to my car and left for the hospital. On the way I called my brother to give me directions to the hospital as I had no idea where it was.

I got to the ER and ran in. One of the paramedics got my attention and asked if I was K, I told her I was, she explained what had happened and the condition in which N was in. They wanted me to fill out a load of paper work but I was shaking so much so they took me to see N first. The second I saw her I wanted to hold her and not let go but they said she wasn't allowed to move at all so I couldn't. She had a cut above one eye, the other eye had glass in so they had put some yellow stuff in and she had some bruises and stratches on her face and legs. She was still in shock but thankfully she seemed ok. For the next few hours they took x-rays of her neck and back and finally at 19:30 they gave her strong pain killers and said she was good to go.

It was so scary knowing that I could have lost her. When I was in the waiting room I was beside myself with worry, the last time I rushed to the ER I came home without my dad and I couldn't imagine going through something like that again. I prayed so much and thank God she's ok.

Her car is totally mangled and has been written off. I could post pics but blogger doesn't seem to want me too. When I'm able I'll put them up.

A gift for my one and only love

Our wedding day is N's birthday too, so she deserves a good few special things. I got her things that I know she needs and things that I know she'll love, so in a big black box tied with red ribbon I put in:

• A Ralph Lauren, Polo Wallet
• Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue
• A Boudoir photo book
• A Quicksilver t-shirt
• A scented letter sealed with gold wax

Occupation: Nurse

N's operation went OK yesterday. The first thing she asked for when she came around was her wife - made me love her even more! She was OK yesterday, had a bit of pain but today she's definitely worse. I think she has a fever and we might have to give the doctor a call when I get home just to make sure that she is OK. I don't like seeing her like this, poor thing.

I really feel like a nurse lately - looking after my mom and now N. I don't know how people do this job for a living.

My mom didn't get all the blood tests and other tests that she was supposed on Tuesday. It was suggested that we wait to hear if she gets onto Interferon through her doctor and medical aid before we go ahead with the clinical trial.

I am yet to meet a friendly Neurologist. Every one of them that I've met have been so unfriendly and not really willing to offer much assistance. They just sort of shrug my mom off because she has MS and there's not much more they can do for her, such assholes!

The meeting with the lawyer went well on Tuesday. Nothing complicated about the contracts that are getting drawn up. Basically what we go into the marriage with is whoever's it was to begin with if we get divorced and whatever is gained during the marriage is split 50/50. Also if one of us goes bankrupt or declares insolvency the other one can't be held liable. The contracts should be drawn up in 2 weeks, we then have to go in to sign. They are then notarised and we are given the contract. All in all it should take just over a month.

So that's all that's been happening lately, we haven't been doing much DIY so no updates on that. Oh but we did pay off our photographer today. I'm very happy about that, one less thing to pay now!

..continued

Savoury Tart (Souttert)
(Source: Unknown)

2 Tbs Flour
1 Tsp Baking Powder
1/2 Tsp Bicarbonate Of Soda
1 Tsp Dry Mustard
2 Large Eggs (I used 3)
1 Cup Milk
125ml Cream
Salt and Pepper to taste
1 Large Tomato, cubed
1 Onion, finely chopped
1 1/2 Cups Lean Bacon, chopped (or viennas or chopped chicken breast)
1 Green Pepper, chopped
1 1/2 Cups Cheddar Cheese, grated

Mix all ingredients and pour into a greased dish. Bake on 180°C for 10 minutes, then reduce heat to 150°C and bake for 20 - 30 minutes or until golden brown.

This is a very short week at work for me. Tomorrow I'm taking my mom for tests for the clinical trial which she might be accepted into. Wednesday is voting day - 2009 Elections, I'm not sure why they bother as we all know who'll get the majority of votes. And Thursday I'm taking N in for her operation that she was meant to get a few weeks ago. So its a busy week. Oh and tomorrow morning we're meeting with a lawyer to draw up the ante-nuptial contracts (we've been advised to do this as soon as possible).

Rings and things

After meeting with the dress maker on Saturday we had a quick breakfast then met with the ring designer / jeweller. I originally wanted a band on either side of my engagement ring but for a while I've thought of rather going the more traditional route of having only one wedding band. Luckily she had such a gorgeous one that I could try on. It was the perfect fit and I loved it! There are two issues though - firstly its R5 000 (thats about $500) more than the other two and secondly it has round diamonds instead of princess cut diamonds. The jeweller did say that it might be possible to take those diamonds out and replace them with princess cut ones. It should take a couple of days for her to let me know for definite. N was so great about me changing my mind, she simply said that I have to wear it for the rest of my life so she'll get me what I like.

...

The new one that I love

The second option

N's ring was ready so we got that as well. We're happy with it, although I didn't realise that the titanium was so greyish, but N loves it so its ok.

The rest of Saturday was spent baking. I definitely took on too much but the results were worth it. My mom loved it. We had 18 people so my mom was surrounded by people which is what she needs. She's not doing too well so she needs to know that there are so many people that care about her.

Here's some of the goodies that I baked:

From the left - Peanut Butter and Carrot Cake, Banana Bread, Melting Moments and Savoury Tart. I also made Cream Scones (the Joy of Baking recipe is definitely the best I've made). I highly recommend the Peanut Butter & Carrot Cake (especially the icing) and the Savoury Tart, they were loved by all.

Peanut Butter and Carrot Cake

(Source: Black Cat Peanut Butter Recipe Book)

Cake

400ml Cake Flour

15ml Baking Powder

5ml Cinnamon

3ml Salt

250ml Honey (I used 125ml Honey & 125ml Sugar)

100g Butter

100g Peanut Butter

3 Eggs

100g Walnuts (I omitted this)

250g Carrots

5ml Vanilla Essence

Mix together the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Beat the honey, butter and peanut butter together, add the eggs beating well after each addition. Add the mixed dry ingredients, carrots and vanilla essence. Bake in 2 x 20cm greased cake tins at 170°C for 35 - 40 minutes or until golden brown.

Icing

125g Peanut Butter

400ml Icing Sugar

125ml Cream Cheese

5ml Vanilla Essence

Using an electric beater blend all the ingredients until smooth (I added a bit of milk to soften it a little). Use for filling and topping once cake has cooled.

No hospital today

Just as I thought, N couldn't go for her operation today. Purely because of the stupid ass doctor who "doesn't do administrative work" while seeing patients. All he had to do was fill in a few questions on a form and get the receptionist to fax it to the medical aid. We begged to get it done before 18:00 so naturally he did it at 20:30. Wonderful doctors we have here! So next month it will be.

I have good news about N's ring. The one I bought and sent back will get credited. So I went back to the original woman that I was going to get the ring from. I emailed her with a concern on the size so she promptly offered to come to the place where I work and take the exact measurement of a ring that I have that fits N perfectly. Now that's what I call service.

I went to re-buy the ties today (the ones that the stupid embroidery woman messed up) and they're totally out of stock of the ones that we bought. So I had to buy ones with a pattern, but I actually prefer them. I'll post a picture tomorrow. I also found a place that will engrave the best men's gifts.

So tonight is DIY Wednesday. I'll finish those other hanging word decor things that I mentioned yesterday. And after reading a fellow South African brides blog I've decided to make something similar to her Bridesmaids Guide since I don't get to chat too often to J & Y about the wedding. I'll be making those tonight as well.

Last night wasn't such a nice night. N and I sort of ignored each other for most of the night because of something silly. I didn't sleep well because of that and woke up with a huge headache. So to top it off as I was on my way to work this morning I drove into another car. It was actually funny as the woman in front of me drove then stopped for some reason (obviously I didn't see her stop), we both got out of our cars in a panic only to realise there wasn't even so much as a scratch on either car - what a relief!

My poor love

Friday was hectic! We started off bright and early. One of the things to do was to collect the ties that were embroidered, but apparently some people can't read properly and find it difficult to do what is expected of them - the stupid woman embroidered the wrong part of the tie! She simply said she'll take out the stitching and do it on the correct side. Honestly how stupid! The stitching will leave a mark, so N proceeded to tell her that if they are not fixed properly then the stupid woman will replace all three ties, she wasn't too bothered and agreed to do so (that remains to be seen).

After that we managed to get to a couple of suit hire places, we weren't entirely happy with what we found so considered buying the suit instead (yet again). We went to another couple of places on Saturday one of which was more promising but we wanted to carry on looking. Later on we actually found a suit and bought it! But it was a cheap suit and its easy to see that the material is of an inferior quality. The up side is that the fit is perfect. Perfect style, perfect length of jacket, perfect fit of pants, just shitty material. I've since thought of asking my dress maker if she cannot make an exact replica of the suit in a good quality material. We have an appointment with her tonight to see what we can do.

Other things that we got done was a load of shopping. I came up with a few idea's for the ceremony and bought the supplies for that - Potted Moss Covered Balls. I also found another clutch, which I had to buy. I know I already bought one but I'll give that to J as part of her maid of honour gift. This is the one I got:

...

For the first time ever N had a gynecologist appointment on Saturday morning. She went in and an hour and a half later was still not out. I started to feel a bit uneasy and worried, it turns out I had reason to be. She has to go for an operation on Wednesday. Apparently she has Endometriosis and due to this has to have two investigative procedures as well as another procedure to better the Endometriosis. She's never been admitted to hospital or had any kind of operation so I'm sure she's a bit nervous. I, on the other hand, am seriously nervous! It might only be a routine procedure but just being under anaesthetic makes me a little scared. She has to be at the hospital at 06:00 on Wednesday morning....... way too early for my liking. Luckily my boss let me take the day off as I wouldn't want anyone else to take her (even though to my amazement her mom offered), I want to be there for her.

Some time ago we bought a bunch of seeds to plant in our little vegetable garden. We currently have spinach, broccoli, tomatoes and aubergine plants. After neglecting the garden for a while I found a few nice surprises - two huge aubergine's and a head of broccoli. Wholesome organic vegetables - perfect! I'm thinking of making Eggplant Parmigiana with the aubergine and probably Broccoli & Feta Soup with the broccoli.

My mom's blood tests came back normal, so today she was going to go back to the doc to see what else it could be.

...

Saturday night we went to a house warming party. The house was amazing, overlooking a big dam and was just beautiful. Shortly after we arrived double shots of Tequila made their rounds. That was just the begining! Needless to say the following morning I had a hangover of note, despite my best efforts of taking a load of vitamins (vit C, vit B, Cruciale, Ponado - to name a few) the night before to ward off the hangover. As per usual my love took such good care of me, not that I would ever expect anything less from her. I'm more in love with her than ever!

Good Monday

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. The sun was shining and even though it's a Monday I still felt happy and alive!

We accomplished a lot this weekend.

On Friday I went for a Placecol Soft Laser Facial which was so good since I haven't been for a facial in years. It was short, only 30 min but the benefits are pretty good. I've made appointments for a few more - I'll be doing two a month for optimal benefits. Lets hope I actually do see a difference.

On Saturday I was up early. I had to get my hair permanently straightened again so was off to the salon for the 4 1/2 hour treatment. Luckily this only gets done every six months, and only to my roots. This was the result:

Once that was done. N and I went to get my mom curtains (she's wanted to change them for a while so when I saw some really nice one's she asked me to get them for her). Then a quick trip to the mall where we got her shirt for the wedding and found two suits. They weren't in her size since she's a bit smaller than the majority of men that buy suits, so they'll get them in for her to try on.

.....

On Sunday we went to buy the wooden rods and all the accessories for my mom's new curtains. I thought this would be a quick job - measure, drill holes, attach brackets then rods and put up curtains. Apparently I was very wrong! Since we had to put up 13 curtains and 8 rods, it took much longer than planned - the whole of Sunday afternoon. Being the incredibly kind and loving person that N is, she drilled all the holes and put the brackets up while I washed and dried the curtains. The result was just what we had hoped for. My mom was absolutely thrilled. She couldn't stop thanking us for our hard work. Even when I left for work this morning she stuck her head out the door saying how nice it was to wake up in such a nice house.

...

The next step to updating my mom's house is to paint (the inside only). For the amount of paint that we need the cost is going to be quite high so we have to wait for a couple of weeks. In the mean time during lunch I got her a new duvet cover set and a few other goodies. So this should make her even happier.

....

I'm surprised that my mom is open to all these changes. Usually she doesn't like to change things and spend money on the aesthetics of her house. She likes things to be clean and neat but growing up she was poor so she just never liked having fancy and expensive things in her house when she was able to - she's a very humble person.

...

N and I had another chat about having children on Saturday. I seem to be feeling more open to it lately, maybe because I'm realising that I'm getting older (although 27 is not old) or maybe because I'd really like to have a family with N. For a chunk of our relationship we've had to think of my mom as well as us when doing things, so this would be a similar situation I think, with a few exceptions of course.

...

I cannot wait to be married, to call myself the wife of such an incredible person. This weekend I again was given the opportunity to see what a privilege it will be to marry N. She has such patients with me and with certain aspects of our relationship. And her kindness well exceeds my expectations. I will walk hand in hand with her and proudly show her off at any given opportunity - my love, my rock, my sweet.

Family

Last night we tried to work out who needs to pay what and when for the wedding. We couldn't come to any definite answers since I don't know what the exact amount of my salary will be, since we didn't receive increases, the tax is totally different now due to some new law and my medical aid has increased significantly. So at the end of the month we'll work it out.

We also tried to decide on the final honeymoon place, the place the we'll be staying at for the last two nights. We agreed on two gorgeous places - luxurious and right by the beach. Now I just have to wait for the quotes to come in.

My mom isn't doing well at all. She's been in tears the last two days, she says she feels so terrible and her legs don't want to work. So this morning I called her doctor that deals with her MS but it seems he's a bit difficult to get hold of. I left a message with the reliable accounts lady, who also explained their progress in getting my mom onto Interferon. Apparently its going to take quite a while still, so I suggested that my mom get her usual Cortisone treatment, since its been 7 months since she last received it and that will definitely pep her up a bit. I wish there would be some miracle drug that would just make her totally well. I hate seeing her like this, it breaks my heart having her so upset and not being able to do anything about it.

On Monday it's my brothers 35th birthday, so his girlfriend, B, has arranged a surprise party for him tomorrow. She's arranged a couple of his friends that live far away to come as well, so he'll be happy about that. My mom is also going to go so I think she'll enjoy being out for the day. My mom is a social person - the total opposite of me, so she loves being around people. I can happily go for months without socializing with groups of people, I never feel comfortable at big gatherings and places like clubs. I used to enjoy it when I was younger, but I suppose I've changed as I've got older.

On Thursday 12th March it would have been my dad's birthday. He would have turned 57. It will be a sad day for all of us, especially my mom. Last year she took it very badly. She called me at work barely able to speak through the crying, so I quickly left, got her a big bunch of flowers and sat with her for a while. So not wanting things to go like that again, I've invited my brother, his girlfriend and her daughter for dinner. This should give my mom something to look forward to and not be too upset about what the day means to us.

I haven't been sleeping well again so this morning I was up before the sun, and I was watching N for a while. I'm loving her more and more everyday. She's everything and more than I could ask for.

It's times like these...

Yesterday wasn't such a good day. We got some bad news regarding my dads business (which my brother is now running, but my mom owns), this together with a few other personal things (not involving N & I) and I was not doing too well. The tears flowed while on the phone with N, explaining all that had happened and what might follow. The reality of life is very difficult sometimes and as much as I always want to fix everything that's wrong in my little world, there are some things that I can't do alone. Its times like these when I realise how thankful I am for having N in my life. She constantly reassures me that everything will be ok, and no matter what happens we will deal with it. I love her positivity and the way in which she approaches my concerns and sadness's. She has stood by me, supported me and picked me up in these past 17 months of uncertainty, hurt and anger. I cherish her love, honesty, her positive outlook on life and I know that we have made the right decision in sharing our lives and getting married.

I was going over some wedding things today, and I realised that in just over a month my dress is going to start been made. I have not chosen a ready made wedding dress since I saw an Amy Michelson one that I fell in love with. Now I don't love all the aspects of the dress but the majority of it is gorgeous. Things I want to change are:

* Different straps on the back

* Lower back

* The shape of the neck line, I want it to look less like a halter

* Shape - A mixture of sheath and mermaid

* No gathers by the bum area

Here's it is

I like the shape of this dress

Other dresses that I love

I don't like strapless dresses, since I'm quite small on top. I'd be nervous that it would fall down so I'd constantly be conscious of it and try pulling it up.