This doesn't seem to be our cycle. I started spotting last night, which is weird because AF is still six days away. I don't know what our next step is going to be. I'm so disappointed, I had such high hopes for this cycle.
This is really hard I don't know how people get through this over and over again.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Monday
In short, our weekend in bullets
- We went to watch Did you hear about the Morgans on Saturday night, it was really good, funny and entertaining.
- We had the best time shopping for the baby shower gifts, if I could I would've bought the whole shop. Luckily baby clothing is relatively cheap so you can get more bang for your buck. Both of the babies are girls but their parents have over loaded their clothing with pink items so we were sure not to get anything pink.
- Baby no. 1 gift
- Baby no. 2 gift
- On Sunday we went to church. The last time I was in church was for my fathers funeral and the time before that was when I was about 8. It was good, we both enjoyed it and what made it even better was that only gay people attended. Also what made it so good was that our good friend M was there. We were pleasantly surprised by the sermon and the way in which the minister presented it.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Is everyone pregnant??
That's how it seems. Yet another person that I know just got the news that she's pregnant. Its not an easy pill to swallow! I'm so scared that our last insem didn't work, this was the most expensive one we've done and if it doesn't work out I doubt we'll be able to do a double again or even get the follicle scan again.
We've also got two baby showers to attend in February, which I'm so looking forward to. I love seeing all the baby goodies that people get and I can't wait to go shopping for our gifts (my favourite part).
I emailed a bunch of fertility clinics this morning to get their costs and its just crazy. One place is actually 13 (yes - thirteen) times more expensive .... wait for it ..... to ONLY perform the procedure then on top of that they charge double for the sperm and this all excludes scans, medication and doctors consultations. Are these people high or what?? None of these cost are covered by the medical aid and everything has to come out our pocket. In this economy who can afford these costs??!
We've also got two baby showers to attend in February, which I'm so looking forward to. I love seeing all the baby goodies that people get and I can't wait to go shopping for our gifts (my favourite part).
I emailed a bunch of fertility clinics this morning to get their costs and its just crazy. One place is actually 13 (yes - thirteen) times more expensive .... wait for it ..... to ONLY perform the procedure then on top of that they charge double for the sperm and this all excludes scans, medication and doctors consultations. Are these people high or what?? None of these cost are covered by the medical aid and everything has to come out our pocket. In this economy who can afford these costs??!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Brace yourself this is gonna be long!
So Sunday I took a OPK and it was negative as I mentioned in my last post, which I thought was a little strange. On Monday morning I woke up super early and did another one which was also negative. I started to panic thinking that I got a pack of duds. The minute the pharmacy opened I was there getting a new pack (more expensive and with less tests). I waited till the afternoon to test and again it was negative. I knew something was wrong but though I'd leave it till the next morning, which I did. Again early yesterday morning I did another OPK and it was negative. So in a fit of panic I called my gynae and asked the nurse for advice. She said that I should rather come in for a follicle scan as she wasn't sure how accurate the urine OPK's are. I was trying to avoid going for a follicle scan as its really expensive (they charge for the scan and for a consultation), but I was too scared that I'd miss the right time and I'd have to wait another month - pure torture!!
Luckily they had an opening at 12:45. The whole morning was so damn stressfull, my mom fell a few weeks back and I had to take her for x-rays. It sounds so simple but my mom has MS and to take her in a wheel chair takes time and patients, something I didn't have. Fortunately for me my gynae is right next to the hospital where she had her x-rays taken, so I dropped her off and went to check my lady bits.
After waiting an hour to see the doc I eventually got to have my scan. I told him what had being happening with the OPKs and he said that he doesn't trust any urine tests - OPKs or pregnancy. He started with the scan and found a large follicle (22mm) and I was so happy, but that was soon crushed. He took a look from a different angle and said "oh dear it looks like it may have already ruptured". He showed me some slightly gagged edges, which didn't really look like much to me but he's the professional he must know what he's looking at. I immediately got tears in my eyes, thinking we'd missed the window. He obviously saw this and said not to worry if I'm able to go now to get an insemination I'll still have a chance. I flew out of his office and called N in a panic, told her to meet me at home so that we could go. Bearing in mind that it was already 14:15 and the Cryo.bank does their last insemination's at 15:00. I quickly picked my mom up and went home.
N and I drove as quick as we could without me getting another speeding fine. We got there right on time and after a quick chat to the technician about the quality of our donor's sperm we decided to change our donor. Our new man is shorter than our previous one (which probably suits N & I more) and with blue eyes not green. There's other characteristics that differ but I won't get into that now. Anyway we did the insemination and went home.
From that afternoon I noticed that my CM had changed dramatically and I was worried that the gynae had made a mistake, that the follicle hadn't ruptured. We had previously decided that it was pointless doing a second insemination as it would be too late, but this change made me wonder.
This morning when I woke up my CM was again different, according to the internet this was what I was supposed to get when ovulating. So we bit the bullet and went for a second insemination. Waste of money or worth it I don't know.
So that's my story. Now we wait. Two long weeks.
Luckily they had an opening at 12:45. The whole morning was so damn stressfull, my mom fell a few weeks back and I had to take her for x-rays. It sounds so simple but my mom has MS and to take her in a wheel chair takes time and patients, something I didn't have. Fortunately for me my gynae is right next to the hospital where she had her x-rays taken, so I dropped her off and went to check my lady bits.
After waiting an hour to see the doc I eventually got to have my scan. I told him what had being happening with the OPKs and he said that he doesn't trust any urine tests - OPKs or pregnancy. He started with the scan and found a large follicle (22mm) and I was so happy, but that was soon crushed. He took a look from a different angle and said "oh dear it looks like it may have already ruptured". He showed me some slightly gagged edges, which didn't really look like much to me but he's the professional he must know what he's looking at. I immediately got tears in my eyes, thinking we'd missed the window. He obviously saw this and said not to worry if I'm able to go now to get an insemination I'll still have a chance. I flew out of his office and called N in a panic, told her to meet me at home so that we could go. Bearing in mind that it was already 14:15 and the Cryo.bank does their last insemination's at 15:00. I quickly picked my mom up and went home.
N and I drove as quick as we could without me getting another speeding fine. We got there right on time and after a quick chat to the technician about the quality of our donor's sperm we decided to change our donor. Our new man is shorter than our previous one (which probably suits N & I more) and with blue eyes not green. There's other characteristics that differ but I won't get into that now. Anyway we did the insemination and went home.
From that afternoon I noticed that my CM had changed dramatically and I was worried that the gynae had made a mistake, that the follicle hadn't ruptured. We had previously decided that it was pointless doing a second insemination as it would be too late, but this change made me wonder.
This morning when I woke up my CM was again different, according to the internet this was what I was supposed to get when ovulating. So we bit the bullet and went for a second insemination. Waste of money or worth it I don't know.
So that's my story. Now we wait. Two long weeks.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday
The days seem to be going faster and faster this week, which makes me very happy, the quicker we get to inseminate the happier N & I both are. Yesterday I went to the Cryo.bank to pick up Ovidrel just in case I get a positive on the OPK on Sunday then we'll be able to trigger ourselves. He tried to explain exactly how to do it but doing it to someone else is far easier than doing it to yourself. I'm so used to injecting my mom in her stomach and everywhere else but her injections have a special "tool" that the syringe goes into in order to get the needle deep enough. I quickly decided that N will have to give me the injection, there's no way I'll be able to watch myself stick that thing in my stomach, way to scary for me!
I watched My Sisters Keeper again today. That movie is so sad, I can't believe how touching it is, I cried from start to finish! The first time we went to watch it in the cinema all the woman were all in tears, as we were walking out they all had tissues in their hands and puffy eyes, it was quite sweet. Even though its sad its a good movie. I love watching movies and I love watching movies more than once, N can't stand that and doesn't see the point, but you always see something that you missed the first time you see. Anyway next week we're going to watch Meet The Morgans with Sarah Jessica Parker, it looks so good and funny. Nothing better than a good comedy (well almost nothing)!
I watched My Sisters Keeper again today. That movie is so sad, I can't believe how touching it is, I cried from start to finish! The first time we went to watch it in the cinema all the woman were all in tears, as we were walking out they all had tissues in their hands and puffy eyes, it was quite sweet. Even though its sad its a good movie. I love watching movies and I love watching movies more than once, N can't stand that and doesn't see the point, but you always see something that you missed the first time you see. Anyway next week we're going to watch Meet The Morgans with Sarah Jessica Parker, it looks so good and funny. Nothing better than a good comedy (well almost nothing)!
Monday, January 11, 2010
What a weekend!
We tackled the massive task of installing our wooden flooring in our living and dining room this weekend and it was by far the biggest and most time consuming home DIY job we've done. We started ripping out the carpets on Saturday morning which sounds simple enough but you have to get out all the nails and all the rest before cleaning the floor and getting it ready. My in-laws arrived late morning and got started straight away, my mother in-law even got stuck in. It took us the whole weekend and the results are even better than we could have ever imagined but I think if I knew before hand what a huge job it would be I wouldn't have done it ourselves. All the moving of the furniture, the mess from the cutting of the boards, the exhaustion and the muscle stiffness was too much! Every muscle in my body was sore this morning, even my fingers!
Before ripping out our lovely yet impractical cream carpets
During (N & her Dad)
The finished product
Before ripping out our lovely yet impractical cream carpets
During (N & her Dad)
The finished product
Friday, January 8, 2010
Friday
I've added a few more vitamins to my daily lot that I take every morning, namely Vit E & Omega 3. Of course I'm willing to try anything that might improve our chances of falling pregnant. Yesterday I was browsing around a local newlywed forum and I came across a post where someone asked if they knew anything about a product called Staminogro. After doing some research it seems that this unique multi-vitamin is recommended by gynecologists to assist couples trying to conceive. After work I went to pick some up from the pharmacy and got chatting to the pharmacist, she also recommended a product called Fertivor. I had no idea you got a natural product like this. This is what it claims to do:
· Naturally and safely support the production of cervical fluids.
· Increase hydration of the mucin (liquidity of mucus).
· Promote mucus alkalinity and mucosal thinning.
· Support a healthy uterine lining for implantation of the embryo.
· Increase female vitality and stimulation.
· Assists in the treatment of PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome)
I started it last night as well as the Staminogro so I hope that its going to help.
I forgot to mention, I got a nasty surprise in the mail the other day. With our first insemination in November we made a mad dash to the gynae from the Cryo.bank and with all the speeding around I got a huge speeding fine. Luckily here in SA they have new regulations and you actually get a 50% discount if you pay the fine within 32 days of the incident. Thankfully I was able to do that otherwise I would have been out of R750, far too much for my liking!
· Naturally and safely support the production of cervical fluids.
· Increase hydration of the mucin (liquidity of mucus).
· Promote mucus alkalinity and mucosal thinning.
· Support a healthy uterine lining for implantation of the embryo.
· Increase female vitality and stimulation.
· Assists in the treatment of PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome)
I started it last night as well as the Staminogro so I hope that its going to help.
I forgot to mention, I got a nasty surprise in the mail the other day. With our first insemination in November we made a mad dash to the gynae from the Cryo.bank and with all the speeding around I got a huge speeding fine. Luckily here in SA they have new regulations and you actually get a 50% discount if you pay the fine within 32 days of the incident. Thankfully I was able to do that otherwise I would have been out of R750, far too much for my liking!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Wednesday
We've been considering doing a double IUI, but the timing seems to be an issue. I've done some research and found this which seems to have shed some light (only the first two pages are relevant). But I'm still not sure what the best times would be when having the trigger shot. First IUI 20 - 24 hours after trigger, second IUI 36 - 40 hours after trigger, does this sound right? What confuses things more is that I can't seem to find out how long the sperm lives once it gets inside, previously frozen sperm that is. The Cryo.bank says it can live for 24 hours but I've heard that it can only live for 6 hours.
Why do professionals all give conflicting advice?! I'd love some proper advice on the timing especially.
Why do professionals all give conflicting advice?! I'd love some proper advice on the timing especially.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Tuesday
Not much going on here. AF arrived a day early which is good, the quicker we can do the next insemination the better. I just found out that a "friend" (technically we've never met but used to email each other frequently throughout the planning of both our weddings) is pregnant. I know she deserves it, she's really one of those genuinely nice people but as soon as I felt happy for her I felt sad for me, for N and I. I want to be pregnant so badly but not knowing if and when all this trying is going to work really bugs me.
A colleague spoke to me yesterday about the TTC troubles him and his wife have been having and he mentioned that they were referred to a fertility clinic close by. Apparently friends of their's had previously had 5 IUI's done at a gynae and the first IUI they did at this fertility clinic they fell pregnant. I can't see that they do so much more than all the other places, although I'd love to give them a try, financially they're totally out of our reach. They're almost 3 - 4 times more expensive per cycle than our current options and this is just on standard procedures, it doesn't provide for any additional medication/scans/procedures. So I guess we're stuck trying until we get it right!
A colleague spoke to me yesterday about the TTC troubles him and his wife have been having and he mentioned that they were referred to a fertility clinic close by. Apparently friends of their's had previously had 5 IUI's done at a gynae and the first IUI they did at this fertility clinic they fell pregnant. I can't see that they do so much more than all the other places, although I'd love to give them a try, financially they're totally out of our reach. They're almost 3 - 4 times more expensive per cycle than our current options and this is just on standard procedures, it doesn't provide for any additional medication/scans/procedures. So I guess we're stuck trying until we get it right!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A new year
Can you believe that the new year is already upon us?! Time flies!
We had a quiet new years eve, we went out with a couple of friends for really good dinner at a new restaurant that just opened in our neighbourhood then back to their place for some drinks (not for me sadly) and quick fireworks display nearby. It was the most relaxed new years eve we've had in years.
N and I decided not to test on Friday morning as planned but early in the morning I dreamt about testing and getting a BFP, so the minute I woke up I tested. Unfortunately my dream was not about to come true as the test was negative. I was so upset, even though I knew deep down that it would be negative I was still hoping that there was a little bit of a chance. We're trying to decide what our next plan of action is - back to the gynae or Cryo.bank for the insemination. Its far less hassle and costs less to go to the Cryo.bank but the gynae does the follicle scans and is probably a bit more accurate. We'll have to see what works out best.
Even though Friday morning started off rather disappointing it soon improved with M coming around for a potjie (the first time we've made this). He seemed to be coping better than expected with the loss of Paul. He told us some more details on the accident - exactly what they think happened & that it would still take 6 months for the investigation to come to a conclusion, what the body looked like (although he didn't see it he insisted on knowing and was told by Paul's best friend who identified the body), obviously it was horrific due to the seriousness of the accident. After he told us all this we spoke a lot about Paul and all the happy times. It turned out to be a better day after all.
We had a quiet new years eve, we went out with a couple of friends for really good dinner at a new restaurant that just opened in our neighbourhood then back to their place for some drinks (not for me sadly) and quick fireworks display nearby. It was the most relaxed new years eve we've had in years.
N and I decided not to test on Friday morning as planned but early in the morning I dreamt about testing and getting a BFP, so the minute I woke up I tested. Unfortunately my dream was not about to come true as the test was negative. I was so upset, even though I knew deep down that it would be negative I was still hoping that there was a little bit of a chance. We're trying to decide what our next plan of action is - back to the gynae or Cryo.bank for the insemination. Its far less hassle and costs less to go to the Cryo.bank but the gynae does the follicle scans and is probably a bit more accurate. We'll have to see what works out best.
Even though Friday morning started off rather disappointing it soon improved with M coming around for a potjie (the first time we've made this). He seemed to be coping better than expected with the loss of Paul. He told us some more details on the accident - exactly what they think happened & that it would still take 6 months for the investigation to come to a conclusion, what the body looked like (although he didn't see it he insisted on knowing and was told by Paul's best friend who identified the body), obviously it was horrific due to the seriousness of the accident. After he told us all this we spoke a lot about Paul and all the happy times. It turned out to be a better day after all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)