Long TWW

Why is it taking soooo long??? I so badly want to test but I know its too soon and N won't hear of it, I don't think she wants to be prematurely disappointed as well. I'm still keen on testing on Friday, although it might still be too soon. This time the TWW is going a bit better than last time, last time I wasn't working and had tons of time on my hands to obsess about it. Let the time fly please!

Glorious Sunday

What a beautiful day today was. The weather was perfect - hot and sunny. We had late braai followed by hours of laying around and swimming in the pool, it was heavenly. Even though I used SPF30 I still slightly resemble a tomato!

Christmas was lovely! We ate, laughed, played games and had a great day. Christmas Eve on the other hand was not as successful! We got to N's parents place half an hour late and still they had nothing organised. N's mom was in a terrible mood, she was pissed off because the dinner was moved to her place instead of N's sisters (even though it was originally supposed to be at N's mom's place). She didn't have to lift a finger, we all did everything but still she was unhappy. Anyway it did get better toward the end of the night but we said next year we won't go there for Christmas Eve again, this was the last!

N is very positive about the outcome of this cycle's insemination, but I am not. For some reason I just don't feel it, I know its still early days (only a week on Tuesday) but it feels like this isn't the one. I hope I'm wrong. There have been so many BFP's in Blogland that I can't help but feel a little jealous, actually a lot jealous. And so many births too, it almost seems half of the bloggers are either pregnant or just had a baby!

I was reading the fertility forums on Med.He.lp and it was mentioned a couple of times that the HCG shot leaves your body within 10 days. They say the standard dose is 10 000 units and generally 1 000 units leave your body per day. That being said we were hoping to test on Friday, which will be 11 days after the shot and 10 days after the insemination. It sounds a bit soon though but on that forum it seems that people test from 9dpiui and still get BFP's. Any advice on this, or should we just wait the full two weeks?

Can you believe it?!

N's boss asked her to go to DRC (Democratic Republic of Congo) tomorrow! On Christmas!!! She called me to ask if I knew if her DRC visa was still valid, usually the visa's are only valid for about 3 months. Luckily hers has expired. I can't believe that they actually had the audacity to ask her to go on Christmas and especially with what happened last time.

Earlier on in the year they asked her to go to DRC, all she had to do was meet a client over there and hand him a package (it contained a part) then catch the next flight back which was supposed to only be a few hours from when the first flight landed. The idiots at her company booked the wrong flight back!! She had no bag, no clothes, no money (she only had South African Rands and over there "tourists" need US dollars) and no way of contacting me. I was beside myself, I hadn't heard from her since the morning and nor had her company. Eventually late that night she called from Namibia - Namibia!! Namibia is a country that borders South Africa. They flew her there to catch a connecting flight back to SA. Her flight ended up being late and she missed her connecting flight. Eventually they got her into a hotel for the night and she came back the next afternoon.

You have no idea what goes on in these African countries. I've been to Angola for my job before and its terrible, seriously terrible!! DRC is exactly the same, dirty, disorganised and dangerous. So really I think one time was enough!

Christmas eve

I can't believe how this year has flown by! It seems like just the other day we were making wedding plans and now we're making plans to have a baby! Its crazy.

We usually spend Christmas eve with my in-laws. Tonight we'll be going over to them for a lamb on the spit dinner, which sounds very tasty. I'm hoping that we'll actually eat at a decent time. My in-laws have a terrible habit of getting started so late, it drives me crazy! Having dinner on Christmas eve at 11/12 o'clock is a bit too late for me. In addition to dinner we'll open some Christmas presents too, this is more for the kids though. Last year N dressed up as Father Christmas and her nephews loved it, the little one (who was 2 then) had no idea it was her, it was too funny.

And Christmas day we usually spend with my family, and its usually at my mom's place which means a ton of work for N and I. I usually spend hours and hours cooking and she spends hours and hours cleaning. But this year I'm hoping it will be a bit different. Since its so hot here at the moment we'll be doing a variety of cold meats and salads. Thank goodness I won't be doing all the preparations for it. We've told each family / couple to bring a meat of sorts and a salad. N and I will be doing Honey & Mustard Gammon, Tongue (ready cooked, I would never try cook that thing!!) and Roast Vegetable Couscous salad. Others will be bringing Roast Beef, Roast Chicken, salads, desserts and the ever fun Christmas crackers (its just not Christmas without them - kids or no kids). A good few times we've done Christmas at my parents place where I've done all the cooking (turkey, gammon, all the trimmings and dessert) and as lovely as it is, its really too much. This year I'm looking forward to a relaxed, sane Christmas.

Last night I spent the night baking my ass off. I made 7 dozen biscuits. 3 Dozen Ginger Biscuits and 4 dozen Chocolate Chip Cookies. I'm not a huge fan of the ginger ones but N loves them. Usually I take a load of whatever I've baked with on Christmas eve to my in-laws, the kids love the cookies and tend to climb into them even before dinner.

Cycle # 2 IUI done!

It went smoothly, no rushing like mad things to get from one place to another, just a nice and relaxed insemination. We got there 10 min early and got started straight away. When he got started and inserted the speculum he asked N if she wanted to have a look, she jumped at the chance and got a good clear view of my cervix. She seemed intrigued and carried on watching until he was finished with the procedure. It was a bit more uncomfortable than the first IUI but I think they all have their own ways of doing it so its expected. I lay down for 30 min this time, much longer than before.

On Saturday when we went to friends of ours for lunch, the pregnant friend asked if I had done all these little things when we tried the first time. I hadn't even heard of some of the things she told me and I'm so sure that they're just myths and that there's no truth to them but there wasn't any harm in trying. So I didn't go to the bathroom afterwards, like I did last time, I waited almost 2 hours (as long as I could before I thought my bladder might burst) and on the way home I lay on the back seat with a pillow under my bum (not a pretty sight with such a small back seat).

So that's it, now for the long two week wait!

Trigger shot done

Yesterday morning's OPK was negative but today's wasn't. I was up bright and early this morning to get to the CryoBank. I got there at 7:00 and still got to work with a few minutes to spare. The trigger shot was ok, I didn't realize that they do it in your stomach, I cringed when he told me. I'm used to giving my mom her Betaferon shots in her stomach but that needle is much thinner. Anyway the insemination will take place at 15:00 tomorrow afternoon. He wanted to make it at 13:00 but that seemed too soon to me, I was hoping to do it even later, like 16:30 or 17:00 but they don't stay open that "late". I'm not too keen to have the insemination done at the CryoBank, I prefer my obgyn he's more friendly, professional and gives way more information.

Friday

On Wednesday when we went to M he seemed well. I know when my dad passed away the week between the death and the funeral was so busy sorting all sorts of things out that the events that occurred didn't seem real, only after the funeral did it really sink in that he was gone and never coming back. Maybe that's why M seems the way he does now but after today things will be different, there'll be so many changes and ample heart sore. The funeral is at 10:00 today so I'm hoping he'll be ok to get through it all, he'll have a lot of friends there as support so he won't feel alone.

I know that this is going to effect N badly, she can't handle seeing her friend in such pain so tonight we'll be going to dinner and a movie afterwards (definitely a comedy) to cheer her up. Its another busy weekend with Christmas shopping, seeing friends and a ton of other things to do. We've decided to put in wooden floors in the lounge and dinning room, our cream coloured carpets are just not conducive for us any longer, as beautiful as they are. Luckily my lovely N is very good with all sorts of DIY around the house and so is her dad, together they will install the flooring that we'll buy tomorrow (we got a brilliant deal) in a couple of weeks.

I'm really confused about this whole insemination with the trigger shot thing. I was under the impression that you get the positive OPK then the next day you trigger then 36 hours later you do the insemination. After calling the CryoBank again yesterday (I'm sure they're sick of me by now) they said that on the day of the positive OPK they'll trigger then 36 hours after do the insemination. Is this right??

A nice thing about the CryoBank is that they seem very accommodating. I told her that I usually ovulate on CD12 or CD13, CD12 being Sunday this cycle and she said as long as I call her early enough on Sunday morning we can still do the trigger shot then. Impressive indeed!!

Tuesday

Today I started working again, back at my old company just for a short time (2 1/2 weeks). I'm so used to being at home and doing my own thing every day that working is really something to get used to again. I don't mind helping them out but its come at a bit of a shitty time. Paul's funeral in on Friday, on Monday I have to go for the trigger shot at the CryoBank (if the OPK is positive on the weekend) and the next day the IUI will take place. So the timing is not perfect but at least I'll be getting a nice tax free income. Unfortunately though I will not be able to attend the funeral. I feel absolutely horrible for not being able to but I have so much work on Friday that I won't be able to even ask for an hour or two off.

We're going to go to M tomorrow as its a public holiday in SA. He is not doing well at all and we're so worried about him. A couple of our friends have been staying with him but they need to get back home (they stay close to us) so luckily he hasn't been staying alone. It doesn't help that he stays quite a distance and in peak hour traffic it can take up to 1 1/2 - 2 hours to get there. N is considering staying there on Thursday night so that she can be there for the morning and for the funeral, she is such a good friend!

Christmas Fruit Cake Recipe

This recipe is my grandmother's recipe that I love making. It takes a while to make it but in the end its totally worth the effort and time.

Christmas Fruit Cake

Stage 1 Ingredients

1kg + 1 cup Cake Fruit Mix (usually a mix of raisins, sultanas and candy peel)
2 cups Water
2 cups Brown Sugar
200g Butter
2 tsp Bicarb / Baking Soda

Stage 1 Method

Combine all the above ingredients, except for the baking soda, in a large pot. Bring to the boil and simmer for 8 minutes on low heat. Remove from heat and add baking soda. Leave over night.

Stage 2 Ingredients

1 box Green Glace Cherries, halved
1 box Red Glace Cherries, halved
1 cup Dates, chopped and softened in boiling water
2 tsp Mixed Spice
1 tsp Cinnamon
3 tsp Instant Coffee dissolved in 1/4 cup boiling water
5 Eggs
3 1/2 cups Cake Flour
3/4 cup Brandy

Stage 2 Method

Add the cherries, dates, spices and coffee to the fruit mixture. Add 2 eggs and 1 cup flour, alternate eggs and flour until all thouroughly combined. Add the brandy. Spoon into well greased baking tins (I used two loaf tins and one small round tin). Bake at 140°C for 1 - 1 1/2 hours. These cakes keep for quite some time, but to ensure their freshness keep them in an airtight container and once a week "feed" with 15ml brandy.

A sad day

We got a call early this afternoon from our very good friend, M. He was crying almost uncontrollably and told us that his boyfriend of three years, Paul, had died in a plane crash this morning. I couldn't grasp what he was saying, it didn't even feel real. I still remember thinking any minute now its going to come out that it was a cruel joke but it wasn't. We took my mom her lunch and went straight there. It was so sad being there, M was in such a state, we just held him and cried with him. What do you do in this situation?? I know from when my dad died that nothing anybody says will make it better, all you feel like doing is going to sleep and never waking up again.

M and Paul are our two closest gay friends. They would have been the god parents to our future child. Paul has been flying for years and co-owns two planes (one two seater and one aerobatic). He had only two more hours of flying left on the new plane (the aerobatic one) before he got his license and was able to fly solo. He was our MC at our wedding and M was N's best man. Paul was kind, generous, highly intelligent and an all round amazing person, who will be sadly missed.

Apparently what happened was they did a trick (a loop I think) and couldn't get enough momentum coming out of it and went straight into the ground propeller first. They said the death was instant. Paul's two business partners will identify the body in the morning - required by law apparently.

Saturday

I can't seem to come up with a good enough title so the day of the week it shall be.

On Thursday night we went to friends of ours to see their 4D scan. Aww it was so beautiful! You can see everything from the cute little squashed up nose to the tiniest littlest fingers. The mom is now 30 weeks and due in February, she is so vibrant and so happy to be pregnant. Is it bad to be a little jealous? I am so excited for them, they're going to make such good parents.

I am counting down the days till our next insemination which will be just before Christmas. Its not too long now but it seems the time is dragging terribly. I've been reading up on ways to increase your chances of falling pregnant, things like taking certain vitamins, avoiding alcohol, caffeine, stress and that sort of thing. I'll gladly do any of these things to increase my chances.....but I do long for a glass of wine or two!

I love this time of year, Christmas is my absolute favourite, although its been a bit difficult the last two years without my dad I still love all the Christmas cheer and the atmosphere everywhere. One of the things I love most about this time of year is all the baking and cooking I get to do. I've started baking Christmas cakes, which I do every year to give to my in laws and other family and I'll also start with all the Christmas biscuits and fruit mince pies soon. I'll post the recipes as I go along.

Wedding Day: Reception

There's more of the reception with the guests at their tables and dancing I think these are enough.

Wedding Day: Decor

There were so many things that the photographer missed, like the lacy luminaries and hanging luminaries outside, the dancing shoes basket, the petals and candles in the fire place, the list goes on!

Wedding Day: Formal Portraits

BFN

I kinda knew on Sunday that it was going to be negative since I started spotting (tmi), but I was still hopeful. I know its silly and naive to think that my first IUI would be successful but I so hoped it would be.

Initially we thought that we'd have to skip a month as we were told that the Cryo.bank was closed over the Christmas period but we were misinformed. Our gynae will be on leave from the 18th and I'll probaby ovulate on the 23nd / 24th so he won't be able to do the insemination and I won't be able to get the follicle scan before hand either, but the good news is Cryo.bank will be open by appointment only and they will be able to do the insemination, and I would be able to get the injection (trigger shot, I think its called, could be mistaken though) the day before which for some reason my gynae was opposed to.

In the beginning I wanted to do a home insemination but our doctor and the Cryo.bank urged me not to so I figured they're the experts and they know what they're talking about. Lets hope that they're right!

Wedding Day: Ceremony

The ceremony was a total blur. Even though I wasn't nervous, I only remember being very excited. When we left our room my brother was waiting at the top of the hill and he was just in shock. He couldn't even find words, he just looked at me and hugged me. When we got to the chapel we all waited until the music started. N walked down the aisle first, followed by my bridesmaid, then her groomsman, then my maid of honour and lastly her best man. When Only Time by Enya started playing my heart was racing. I couldn't get the hugest smile off my face as my brother walked me down the aisle. When I saw N my heart melted! She looked amazing and I couldn't take my eyes off her.

The ceremony started, we did the unity candle ceremony and N read the most beautiful poem. She was so nervous but she read it perfectly! The rest of the ceremony was a bit longer than we had anticipated but the ministers words that he spoke were so lovely and meaningful (of what I remember). He pronounced us, we kissed, quickly signed the register and walked back up the aisle where we were showered with petals.

Wedding Day: Getting ready

We were panicked about running late but in the end we were so early.

At 09:00 we all met at the hairdresser. From there we went back to my place to collect our dresses and everything else. We then drove about 1/2 an hour to the venue. When we arrived it was packed, they were having another wedding at the bigger venue so there was practically no place to park. Eventually we got to reception, they showed us to our room where our photographer was ready and waiting. A few minutes later they brought us a delicious snack platter, orange juice and champagne. Our make-up artist was so late but we couldn't have been bothered. It was a beautiful day and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. It was warm and sunny and the atmosphere was happy and celebratory. The venue was gorgeous! We got a sneak peak at the tables and the chapel and I couldn't have been happier.

When the make-up artist arrived she started with the girls first and I was last. We did a few shots of me outside, ordered more champagne and relaxed until they called us. I was as calm as could be, I surprised myself!

The perfume I finally settled on was Essence by Narciso Rodrigues. I love the smell but it didn't stay on very long.

How shocking is the colour of the make-up artists nails?!