This is going to be a quick post. I promise to do a proper one in the next couple of days.
Firstly thank you to all of you lovely readers for your positive and kind comments on my last post. You put a big smile on my face!
Secondly, do I have any Canadian readers?? If so please would you be so kind as to pop me an e-mail on Trinityvz@hotmail.com - I have a couple of important things I would like to find out. Thank you so much!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday
Where do I even begin..... The last few months have been difficult to say the least. Financially we have never been in such a bad place. I did my last contract for my previous company in July and now that the company has been bought over I doubt very much that I'll be going back there. I've started a business selling all sorts of baked good - biscuits, cakes, muffins, cupcakes - that sorta thing but seriously you cannot make enough money selling something that is so cheap to begin with. I work my ass off and the profit which I get back is minimal. I make just enough to cover my car, insurance and cell phone contract - and that's it! Things would be easier if I didn't have to help with my mom's medication and all her other extra's that my brother doesn't pay toward. Emotionally I've also never been in such a bad place. I'm happy one day and sad the next, and always always having to worry about money. When it comes to the end of the month its just tears tears and more tears. I'm so sick of it! We don't even get to have a dinner out. It was our anniversary last month so we went for lunch but then we were screwed for the rest of the month.
A couple of weeks ago I applied for 17 jobs - SEVENTEEN!!! Out of all of those I only got one interview. And when I went for the interview the position was at N's company - I was told ever so nicely by the bitchy consultant that they don't allow any family / relations to work there. I even applied for jobs that offered half the salary that I was getting over a year ago and heard nothing. N has applied for jobs in West Africa and various other places but nothing has come of it. We're so stuck and I don't know how to get out of it! I have had so many little breakdowns over the last few months that I swear I'm looking 10 years older than I really am. I cannot live my life like this anymore, so unfulfilling, so bored, so stressed and so unhappy. I just don't know what more to do.
On a positive note though (thank the Lord there is one) we have found a KD. He's our very best friend and both N and I have known him as long as we've known each other (15+ years). I've mentioned him many times in this blog, he was one of N's best men and it was him who's bf died in the plane crash in December last year.
We had planned to invite him to dinner and discuss it nicely but my lovely wife thought it more appropriate to blurt it out at Pride a few weeks ago - gotta love her enthusiasm! The next step is a semen analysis and then the usual blood tests (STD's and all that). We went to his birthday party on Saturday and we discussed it a bit more and it turns out his new bf is not very happy that he has decided to do this. But our KD is adamant that that will not affect him, this is the best gift he could ever give us. So lets just hope that his swimmers are all good and strong!
A couple of weeks ago I applied for 17 jobs - SEVENTEEN!!! Out of all of those I only got one interview. And when I went for the interview the position was at N's company - I was told ever so nicely by the bitchy consultant that they don't allow any family / relations to work there. I even applied for jobs that offered half the salary that I was getting over a year ago and heard nothing. N has applied for jobs in West Africa and various other places but nothing has come of it. We're so stuck and I don't know how to get out of it! I have had so many little breakdowns over the last few months that I swear I'm looking 10 years older than I really am. I cannot live my life like this anymore, so unfulfilling, so bored, so stressed and so unhappy. I just don't know what more to do.
On a positive note though (thank the Lord there is one) we have found a KD. He's our very best friend and both N and I have known him as long as we've known each other (15+ years). I've mentioned him many times in this blog, he was one of N's best men and it was him who's bf died in the plane crash in December last year.
We had planned to invite him to dinner and discuss it nicely but my lovely wife thought it more appropriate to blurt it out at Pride a few weeks ago - gotta love her enthusiasm! The next step is a semen analysis and then the usual blood tests (STD's and all that). We went to his birthday party on Saturday and we discussed it a bit more and it turns out his new bf is not very happy that he has decided to do this. But our KD is adamant that that will not affect him, this is the best gift he could ever give us. So lets just hope that his swimmers are all good and strong!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Thursday
This morning brought us another BFN. Once again everything seemed perfect this cycle but we weren't successful. 7 IUI's down the drain!
I'm so disappointed that this didn't work. Previously when we got a BFN I'd be sad but I knew that we'd be able to try again the next month. Now its a different story, feels like its the end.
So for now we're done. We're taking a break possibly for the remainder of the year. I need to get my life back, it feels like I've put everything on hold - we hardly go out, I don't see my friends, I've picked up so much weight, etc. I don't know how but I've got to put myself back together again.
I'm not sure what the future holds for us but for now I'm considering donating my eggs in the next few months. I'm not sure if we'll go through with it but I'm seeing the FS in September to decide.
I'm so disappointed that this didn't work. Previously when we got a BFN I'd be sad but I knew that we'd be able to try again the next month. Now its a different story, feels like its the end.
So for now we're done. We're taking a break possibly for the remainder of the year. I need to get my life back, it feels like I've put everything on hold - we hardly go out, I don't see my friends, I've picked up so much weight, etc. I don't know how but I've got to put myself back together again.
I'm not sure what the future holds for us but for now I'm considering donating my eggs in the next few months. I'm not sure if we'll go through with it but I'm seeing the FS in September to decide.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Thursday
I went for the beta this morning and it came back negative. I'm truly surprised for a number of reasons but mainly due to the lack of spotting which I have become accustomed to. I know this is thanks to the Utroge.stan, but then I don't understand what went wrong. If the timing was perfect, the sperm good, proges.terone levels well maintained, what is it, whats going wrong?? I can't take this disappointment every time, its heart breaking. I'm guttered and pissed off. I've emailed my FS with a bunch of questions, so we'll see what he comes back with.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Tuesday
We're in our second week of the TWW and there's not much to report. The first week was just ridiculous, it dragged on and on. I swear I was counting the minutes as they dragged by.
Proges.terone is definitely not on my favourites list. That stuff is nasty! It's so messy, I had no idea it would be this gross. It's given a few side effects namely hunger and slight constant cramping. Other than that its ok.
I'm supposed to go for a beta on Thursday but I might just wait a few days and see what happens. I don't want to spend any money unnecessarily but I'm also so eager to know. We'll see what happens but I'll probably wait.
Proges.terone is definitely not on my favourites list. That stuff is nasty! It's so messy, I had no idea it would be this gross. It's given a few side effects namely hunger and slight constant cramping. Other than that its ok.
I'm supposed to go for a beta on Thursday but I might just wait a few days and see what happens. I don't want to spend any money unnecessarily but I'm also so eager to know. We'll see what happens but I'll probably wait.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Choc-Chip Crunchies
I've been wanting to make these for weeks now so tonight I finally made them. The recipe is my gran's and its so delisious! You have to try them.
Choc-Chip Crunchies
1 cup Butter
15ml Golden Syrup
2 cups Rolled Oats
2/3 cup Dessicated Coconut
2/3 cup Choc Chips
1 cup Flour
1/2 tsp Baking Soda
Preheat oven to 170°C. Melt butter and syrup, add remaining ingredients and thoroughly combine. Press mixture into a square 23 x 23cm baking tin and bake for 30 min. Don't over bake as it will crumble.
Choc-Chip Crunchies
1 cup Butter
15ml Golden Syrup
2 cups Rolled Oats
2/3 cup Dessicated Coconut
2/3 cup Choc Chips
1 cup Flour
1/2 tsp Baking Soda
Preheat oven to 170°C. Melt butter and syrup, add remaining ingredients and thoroughly combine. Press mixture into a square 23 x 23cm baking tin and bake for 30 min. Don't over bake as it will crumble.
Thursday
IUI # 2 done! After a mini breakdown last night with loads of tears I must've looked like I'd been punched in the face this morning with my hugely swollen eyes. The nurses were super sweet and even the previously-mean-accounts-woman made a special effort to be nice to me. After the IUI we went home, N went to the dentist and I got into bed (it was so cold this morning, so bed was the perfect place) and watched some TV before heading off to work at 12:00. The rest of the day was bleh until my BFF called, we chatted for ages and although she lifted my spirits I was still left with this "out of sorts" feeling. But as they say - this too shall pass.
I went to the pharmacy to get my proges.terone afterwards. They gave me the Utro.gestan which is supposed to be a bit better than the other one but they're weird cos they're little balls, like really little (like an Astro - for the South African readers). N and I just looked at these little things and we were like huh?! I know they need to be inserted up "there" but they're so little its like they'll get lost on the way.
Ahhh a glass of wine would go down so well now!
I went to the pharmacy to get my proges.terone afterwards. They gave me the Utro.gestan which is supposed to be a bit better than the other one but they're weird cos they're little balls, like really little (like an Astro - for the South African readers). N and I just looked at these little things and we were like huh?! I know they need to be inserted up "there" but they're so little its like they'll get lost on the way.
Ahhh a glass of wine would go down so well now!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wednesday
IUI # 1 went well. My doctor did it which was good, he's so much more gentle than the others. We stopped for a quick breakfast then went back home. N went to work and I went to my Acupuncture appointment about 45 min away with all our lovely traffic.
The appointment was definitely bittersweet. It started with me giving her our basic TTC back ground. She asked some questions like was I having trouble sleeping, which has been a long standing problem for me. We chatted a bit more then I did this thing where I had to put my hands and bare feet on four metal pad things and two disks on my head attached to wires which in turn was attached to her PC. This was some sort of scan that had something to do with electrical impulses. From this she could pick up anything that wasn't quite right in my body.
The first things she picked up was kidney troubles. She said I was drinking far too little water and was probably dehydrated. Which is so true, I haven't been drinking nearly enough water / liquid for weeks. She noted various levels of certain things and asked me questions:
Do I get angry easily?
Do I get irritated easily?
Do I feel sad?
Do I feel like I've lost my security?
I couldn't believe it! She said all these things, especially the anger, is so built up in me. She asked what I worry about, I told her about my mom and then I mentioned about my dad passing away in the car with me while I drove him to the hospital. And just like that she knew where everything was coming from. She asked if I had had counseling after my dads passing, which I did, but we both agreed that it didn't help all that much (although I did feel a bit better talking about it at the time). My dad was my security, I always knew that if anything happened he would be there for me. That's the bitter part, the talking about him, I still can't talk about what happened that night, sometimes I think about it and it feels like I can't breath and I just pray so hard that that feeling goes away and that my memory of that night fades. All this time I've known that I wasn't the same person as I was before he died but I didn't think it had effected me to this extent.
She said my mind is like a hamster in his wheel, just running like crazy all day. I worry a lot about everything and she picked it up. She also picked up that my breathing is very shallow.
She encouraged me to do yoga, meditation & visualization and breathing exercises to help ease my mind and put me in a better place.
After all that it was time for the needles. I lay down while she inserted needles into my forehead, wrists, stomach, legs and ankles. It was a quick little prick which wasn't painful at all. Then she put on a meditation CD and asked me to think a lot about the colour orange. From then on things were good. I felt quite relaxed and given an extra 20 min I would've fallen fast asleep.
I will definitely go again, not sure when though.
The appointment was definitely bittersweet. It started with me giving her our basic TTC back ground. She asked some questions like was I having trouble sleeping, which has been a long standing problem for me. We chatted a bit more then I did this thing where I had to put my hands and bare feet on four metal pad things and two disks on my head attached to wires which in turn was attached to her PC. This was some sort of scan that had something to do with electrical impulses. From this she could pick up anything that wasn't quite right in my body.
The first things she picked up was kidney troubles. She said I was drinking far too little water and was probably dehydrated. Which is so true, I haven't been drinking nearly enough water / liquid for weeks. She noted various levels of certain things and asked me questions:
Do I get angry easily?
Do I get irritated easily?
Do I feel sad?
Do I feel like I've lost my security?
I couldn't believe it! She said all these things, especially the anger, is so built up in me. She asked what I worry about, I told her about my mom and then I mentioned about my dad passing away in the car with me while I drove him to the hospital. And just like that she knew where everything was coming from. She asked if I had had counseling after my dads passing, which I did, but we both agreed that it didn't help all that much (although I did feel a bit better talking about it at the time). My dad was my security, I always knew that if anything happened he would be there for me. That's the bitter part, the talking about him, I still can't talk about what happened that night, sometimes I think about it and it feels like I can't breath and I just pray so hard that that feeling goes away and that my memory of that night fades. All this time I've known that I wasn't the same person as I was before he died but I didn't think it had effected me to this extent.
She said my mind is like a hamster in his wheel, just running like crazy all day. I worry a lot about everything and she picked it up. She also picked up that my breathing is very shallow.
She encouraged me to do yoga, meditation & visualization and breathing exercises to help ease my mind and put me in a better place.
After all that it was time for the needles. I lay down while she inserted needles into my forehead, wrists, stomach, legs and ankles. It was a quick little prick which wasn't painful at all. Then she put on a meditation CD and asked me to think a lot about the colour orange. From then on things were good. I felt quite relaxed and given an extra 20 min I would've fallen fast asleep.
I will definitely go again, not sure when though.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Tuesday
Tomorrow is IUI # 1. We have to be there at 8:00, luckily not such a severely early morning as the scans. After that I'm going for Acupuncture. I've read so much about it lately and how beneficial it is for fertility. A couple of websites said to start weeks before any actual procedures but I don't see the difference. If this fails then at least I started a month ahead. The Acupuncturist I'm going to has come highly recommended via a local fertility forum and she deals predominantly with fertility issues so I hope she's as good as her reputation allows me to believe. I'm really nervous though, I'm not sure at all what to expect. I know they say it doesn't hurt but knowing my luck I'll jump every time she inserts a needle.
So tonight we'll trigger at 8. 12 Hours later will be IUI # 1 and 36 hours later will be IUI # 2.
My baked goods are selling well for now and tonight I'll be making a big batch of banana muffins to sell tomorrow. I hope they sell well because they're so simple and quick to make.
So tonight we'll trigger at 8. 12 Hours later will be IUI # 1 and 36 hours later will be IUI # 2.
My baked goods are selling well for now and tonight I'll be making a big batch of banana muffins to sell tomorrow. I hope they sell well because they're so simple and quick to make.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Monday
Saturday morning we went for the scan. I was hoping and praying that we would get our doctor to do it and our prayers were answered. The other doctors are fine but they're not as thorough as our doctor (although I hear from a infertility forum that my doctor is less liked for his bedside manner). His findings were ok - two follicles - 10mm and 14mm. I was told to come back today. I got there super early and still had to wait - note to self NEVER go to Vita.lab on a Monday unless absolutely necessary! The scan took 2 min at the most but with all the waiting it was an hour out of my day. Dominant follicle - 17mm, lining 9mm. They gave me Ovi.drel and said to inject tomorrow night between 18:00 and 20:00. I asked to get my proges.terone myself from the pharmacy in order to save some much needed money. I called the pharmacy and they are in fact quite a bit cheaper than the fertility clinic. They now use Utro.gestan which is apparently less messy and gross than Cyclo.gest. Has anybody used it before? Are there any side effects?
I cannot stop looking at baby stuff - linen, cots, diaper bags, clothing, nursery pictures, etc. etc. I'm addicted! When I go into a shop I look at baby goodies before I look at the adult section, that can't be too good! I've bought some things too, not many but a few things. I can't seem to help myself!
I cannot stop looking at baby stuff - linen, cots, diaper bags, clothing, nursery pictures, etc. etc. I'm addicted! When I go into a shop I look at baby goodies before I look at the adult section, that can't be too good! I've bought some things too, not many but a few things. I can't seem to help myself!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tuesday
I know I've said it before but wow I'm a really sucky blogger these last few months!
I've got a few things I can give updates on so here goes:
I'm currently on CD5. I went to the FS on Saturday for the CD2 baseline scan and had a quick chat to our FS. He is not happy about putting me on any medication. The first reason being that I ovulate on my own and my hormones are all fine. The second reason is that he doesn't know how I'll respond to the different meds, he seems worried about over stimulation. Everybody seems too damn cautious for my liking! Anyway aside from the meds we asked how many more IUIs he'd like to have us do before moving on to IVF. He seems to think that two more should be sufficient. After the last cycle I was already ready to throw in the towel with IUIs. I know IVF is more expensive but IUIs are pretty expensive too, especially with the scans and the cost of donor sperm. We left feeling pretty unmotivated and not convinced. But later I remembered that I wanted to ask him about why I was spotting a week before AF arrived. So luckily I have his email and sent him a quick one. Sunday morning he replied (impressive!) and said that that is a crucial piece of information and that I probably have low progrest.erone in the second half of my cycle. He said I'll be given a progest.erone after my IUI. Finally something!
Anyway we're still only convinced that we want to do one more IUI then move on. Lets hope we'll still have the finances available to move on to IVF.
I'm working at the moment, which is surprisingly good (touch wood). I only have a few weeks left and for once I wish it was a bit more. I have no supervision and can go out whenever and wherever I want. And I have my own office, which is bliss!
I've started a little business too. N suggested it actually and its taken off quite nicely. I started baking and selling to the staff at her company. My main orders have been Buttermilk Rusks, Peanut Butter Biscuits, Chocolate Dandy Biscuits and Banana Bread. The last few weekends have consisted of hours and hours of endless baking, but I'm enjoying thoroughly and hoping it will get busier. The cold weather is good as people tend to buy more comforting yummy snacks.
And that's it for now. I won't take forever to update again....I hope!
I've got a few things I can give updates on so here goes:
I'm currently on CD5. I went to the FS on Saturday for the CD2 baseline scan and had a quick chat to our FS. He is not happy about putting me on any medication. The first reason being that I ovulate on my own and my hormones are all fine. The second reason is that he doesn't know how I'll respond to the different meds, he seems worried about over stimulation. Everybody seems too damn cautious for my liking! Anyway aside from the meds we asked how many more IUIs he'd like to have us do before moving on to IVF. He seems to think that two more should be sufficient. After the last cycle I was already ready to throw in the towel with IUIs. I know IVF is more expensive but IUIs are pretty expensive too, especially with the scans and the cost of donor sperm. We left feeling pretty unmotivated and not convinced. But later I remembered that I wanted to ask him about why I was spotting a week before AF arrived. So luckily I have his email and sent him a quick one. Sunday morning he replied (impressive!) and said that that is a crucial piece of information and that I probably have low progrest.erone in the second half of my cycle. He said I'll be given a progest.erone after my IUI. Finally something!
Anyway we're still only convinced that we want to do one more IUI then move on. Lets hope we'll still have the finances available to move on to IVF.
I'm working at the moment, which is surprisingly good (touch wood). I only have a few weeks left and for once I wish it was a bit more. I have no supervision and can go out whenever and wherever I want. And I have my own office, which is bliss!
I've started a little business too. N suggested it actually and its taken off quite nicely. I started baking and selling to the staff at her company. My main orders have been Buttermilk Rusks, Peanut Butter Biscuits, Chocolate Dandy Biscuits and Banana Bread. The last few weekends have consisted of hours and hours of endless baking, but I'm enjoying thoroughly and hoping it will get busier. The cold weather is good as people tend to buy more comforting yummy snacks.
And that's it for now. I won't take forever to update again....I hope!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday
Yet another failed cycle!
Last week Tuesday and Wednesday mornings we had the IUIs. I've felt nothing so far but to my horror this morning I started spotting. I know AF is on the way, I can feel it. My cycle seems to have gotten shorter and shorter, I mean we triggered on CD9, did IUI # 1 on CD 10 already. It seems so quick to me but the FS said the timing was fine.
I don't know what our next step is. I'm so tired of wasting time and good money on useless IUIs.
My FS is on holiday so I can't even talk to him. When I phoned his rooms I did speak to the nurse though and she suggests that I come for my CD2 scan and insist on seeing a doctor for a more aggressive approach. I'm assuming that would just mean medication - probably Clomid which I didn't respond well to in February. If I have to make an appointment to see my FS I'll have to wait for weeks. This is all so frustrating. I wish it was so easy and I could just say I'm done,no more, but I want this more than anything, I need this!
Last week Tuesday and Wednesday mornings we had the IUIs. I've felt nothing so far but to my horror this morning I started spotting. I know AF is on the way, I can feel it. My cycle seems to have gotten shorter and shorter, I mean we triggered on CD9, did IUI # 1 on CD 10 already. It seems so quick to me but the FS said the timing was fine.
I don't know what our next step is. I'm so tired of wasting time and good money on useless IUIs.
My FS is on holiday so I can't even talk to him. When I phoned his rooms I did speak to the nurse though and she suggests that I come for my CD2 scan and insist on seeing a doctor for a more aggressive approach. I'm assuming that would just mean medication - probably Clomid which I didn't respond well to in February. If I have to make an appointment to see my FS I'll have to wait for weeks. This is all so frustrating. I wish it was so easy and I could just say I'm done,no more, but I want this more than anything, I need this!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Monday
This mornings scan showed a 20mm follicle on the right ovary and a 10.5mm lining. Can things change that drastically over only a couple of days? A different doctor did the scan, it was actually the doctor that did my surgery, so I'm not sure if they just measure differently or what. Tonight between 18:00 - 20:00 I have to do the trigger then IUI tomorrow and Wednesday. Timing seems out to me for various reasons.
I'm trying my best to get back into my happy place but things aren't working so well lately. I know life is supposed to be full of ups and downs, but how many downs is one person really supposed to get, when will my limit be reached?
I'm trying my best to get back into my happy place but things aren't working so well lately. I know life is supposed to be full of ups and downs, but how many downs is one person really supposed to get, when will my limit be reached?
Friday, June 4, 2010
Friday
I'm a bad blogger, I know this! I haven't been blogging lately mostly because I haven't had anything constructive to contribute. I've been feeling so up and down this last week, one minute I'm in tears the next I'm fine. Just silly!
Anyway today I'm on CD6. I went in this morning to have an office Hysteroscopy and it wasn't too bad. I took pain killers beforehand just in case. I didn't have a chance to google the procedure so I didn't know what to expect. My FS was so good though, explaining along the way what he was doing and what I would be feeling. And of course N holding my hand and trying to get my concentration away from the pain & discomfort.
What he does is insert the speculum (have I told you how much I hate that damn thing?!). Then he wipes the mouth of the cervix. He then clamps the cervix while he gets this scary alien-looking instrument with a syringe filled with water on one end and whatever else it was at the other end. He inserts this thing through the cervix into the uterus and as the camera looks around he pushes water in. This is where the cramping begins. Once the view is clear he checked out the site where the septum was removed from and all was good. He removed all the instruments and said I'd have some water coming out for the next two days. So when I felt a little gush I thought nothing of it until he looked again and got slightly flustered - all the liquid was in fact blood. He said it was fine and wiped up as much as possible.
Next he did a follicle scan. It was the highlight of my day because he found two follicles - 10mm & 12mm. Usually I only make one follicle hence my excitement. I'm slightly concerned (although he isn't) that my lining is only 4mm, I wonder at what rate it thickens?
Monday morning I'll be back for another follicle scan.
In other news, our medical aid has totally totally let us down. The surgery that we paid for out of our own pockets was supposed to be refunded by the medical aid but no such luck. The bastards have now said they'll only refund 1/3 of the bill and then after that we still owe the hospital a HUGE co-payment. I have fought for the last three days with these idiots and there's just no way out. They absolutely infuriate me!
Our FS's practice has been in the media quite a lot lately. The FS that did my surgery was interview on regarding a type of IVF that might be available in the near future. And then my usual FS was the main guest on an hour long show about infertility. I was really impressed!
Anyway today I'm on CD6. I went in this morning to have an office Hysteroscopy and it wasn't too bad. I took pain killers beforehand just in case. I didn't have a chance to google the procedure so I didn't know what to expect. My FS was so good though, explaining along the way what he was doing and what I would be feeling. And of course N holding my hand and trying to get my concentration away from the pain & discomfort.
What he does is insert the speculum (have I told you how much I hate that damn thing?!). Then he wipes the mouth of the cervix. He then clamps the cervix while he gets this scary alien-looking instrument with a syringe filled with water on one end and whatever else it was at the other end. He inserts this thing through the cervix into the uterus and as the camera looks around he pushes water in. This is where the cramping begins. Once the view is clear he checked out the site where the septum was removed from and all was good. He removed all the instruments and said I'd have some water coming out for the next two days. So when I felt a little gush I thought nothing of it until he looked again and got slightly flustered - all the liquid was in fact blood. He said it was fine and wiped up as much as possible.
Next he did a follicle scan. It was the highlight of my day because he found two follicles - 10mm & 12mm. Usually I only make one follicle hence my excitement. I'm slightly concerned (although he isn't) that my lining is only 4mm, I wonder at what rate it thickens?
Monday morning I'll be back for another follicle scan.
In other news, our medical aid has totally totally let us down. The surgery that we paid for out of our own pockets was supposed to be refunded by the medical aid but no such luck. The bastards have now said they'll only refund 1/3 of the bill and then after that we still owe the hospital a HUGE co-payment. I have fought for the last three days with these idiots and there's just no way out. They absolutely infuriate me!
Our FS's practice has been in the media quite a lot lately. The FS that did my surgery was interview on regarding a type of IVF that might be available in the near future. And then my usual FS was the main guest on an hour long show about infertility. I was really impressed!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday
This afternoon we went off to the FS for my post op appointment. It was quick and optimistic. He told us that he's very happy about the results of the surgery and said that the pain and bleeding that I still have is totally normal (I was seriously worried on Sunday with the amount of pain that I had). He told us that they also removed a cyst from my ovary as well as the septum and endo. He showed us more detailed pictures of everything and again I was taken back by seeing all my organs poked and prodded to get good pics.
So whats next you may ask - from 21 May I'll start Provera for seven days, once its finished I'll wait for AF to arrive, once AF is finished I'll go in for a office hysteroscopy and if all is well we'll start with a timed cycle the same cycle, so in June! I'm so glad that we don't have to miss another cycle, it feels so long since we last did anything constructive (baby making wise).
I submitted all the documentation to the medical aid last week so we're waiting to see what they pay toward the surgery. I know they won't pay it all but I'm really hoping that they pay the majority because as you all know this baby making business is damn expensive and we'll need every cent that we can get back.
I suppose its time to stop drinking alcohol again (I say this whilst enjoying a rather large glass of wine) and to stop drinking normal coffee again. It was good while it lasted and I took full advantage, especially the coffee drinking.
So whats next you may ask - from 21 May I'll start Provera for seven days, once its finished I'll wait for AF to arrive, once AF is finished I'll go in for a office hysteroscopy and if all is well we'll start with a timed cycle the same cycle, so in June! I'm so glad that we don't have to miss another cycle, it feels so long since we last did anything constructive (baby making wise).
I submitted all the documentation to the medical aid last week so we're waiting to see what they pay toward the surgery. I know they won't pay it all but I'm really hoping that they pay the majority because as you all know this baby making business is damn expensive and we'll need every cent that we can get back.
I suppose its time to stop drinking alcohol again (I say this whilst enjoying a rather large glass of wine) and to stop drinking normal coffee again. It was good while it lasted and I took full advantage, especially the coffee drinking.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Saturday
Tuesday morning 10:00 am we arrived at the hospital, got admitted and had to wait till 12:30 for a bed. I only found out then that the nurses were supposed to notify me the day before to come in later. It was so frustrating waiting and being so damn hungry all that time. When I got to my bed they gave me all the gear to change into - very attractive hospital gown, booties and a hair net thing (can't remember the proper name for it). We both read until about 14:15 when it was finally my turn. N kissed me and off they took me. When I rolled into the theater the anesthetist and FS (who I hadn't met before) were there waiting for me. My FS doesn't do surgeries anymore so his two colleagues from his practice do them. Dr G held my hand and explained everything that they were going to do while the anesthetist put the drip in and administered the anesthetic. In a few seconds I was out!
I woke up gasping for air but after having oxygen was fine but in pain. They gave me something for the pain then wheeled me back in to the room. I felt fine and was given tea and sandwiches, which went down so well. Shortly after the FS came and showed us before and after pictures which was so cool. He said everything went well, stage 2 Endo (which is mild) was removed and the septum was also removed. I was then told that I'd have to empty my bladder before they could discharge me. So I drank and drank as much as I could and eventually after 2 1/2 hours I needed to wee. N helped me to the loo and as I took that huge pad away there was just blood everywhere, running down my legs, on the toilet (TMI - sorry!) - everywhere! I thought I was fine but when I got back to bed I started shaking, felt so sick & dizzy and was in so much pain. They gave me something for the pain and I started feeling better eventually. At about 18:30 I was discharged and we went home.
N ran me a bath and right before I was going to get it, it hit me again - shaking, dizziness and nausea. It was bad. N helped me to bed where I had to have a Valtaren suppository and eventually slept for an hour or two. I woke up to go to the loo and as I sat on the loo it happened again. This time I started sweating as well. N gave me some sugar water and I could barely hold the glass. She helped me back to bed and we noticed the swelling. I was huge but just on one side. We knew I would swell but it didn't look right. N wanted to take me to the hospital but we both thought to wait a while and see if the feeling passed. And it did, eventually. I woke up super early and felt like shit, AND I had to feel like this on my birthday. N called the FS and they said that it was probably all from the anesthetic.
I finally got to bath then N went out and came back with tons of birthday treats - flowers, chocolate cake, biltong, chocolate slab, muffins, cappuccino, ice-cream and DVD's. She spoilt me so much! Even though I couldn't eat the majority of all the nice goodies it felt so good that N went to so much effort for me.
The nurse from the FS's offices called to see how I was feeling and reminded me of my follow-up appointment on the 18th.
I couldn't sleep normally and had four pillows under my head and a preggy pillow under my knees. This was the most comfortable position and luckily it allowed me to sleep so well on the second night.
Its been quite a ride and I honestly expected it to be so much easier. I didn't think there would be so much discomfort. I've been so swollen that I could not wear any of my tracksuit pants, nothing would fit over my stomach. I looked about 4 months pregnant - seriously!! Its only going down today and only last night was I able to sleep on my sides.
I'm on Estrofem for 21 days then Provera for 7 days. Thereafter I'll have another Hysteroscopy then hopefully we'll get to start IUI's again.
I'm so thankful for N. I couldn't imagine going through all this without her, she did everything for me from putting my socks on to being my nurse at 01:00 in the morning. Everyone needs an N in their lives!
I woke up gasping for air but after having oxygen was fine but in pain. They gave me something for the pain then wheeled me back in to the room. I felt fine and was given tea and sandwiches, which went down so well. Shortly after the FS came and showed us before and after pictures which was so cool. He said everything went well, stage 2 Endo (which is mild) was removed and the septum was also removed. I was then told that I'd have to empty my bladder before they could discharge me. So I drank and drank as much as I could and eventually after 2 1/2 hours I needed to wee. N helped me to the loo and as I took that huge pad away there was just blood everywhere, running down my legs, on the toilet (TMI - sorry!) - everywhere! I thought I was fine but when I got back to bed I started shaking, felt so sick & dizzy and was in so much pain. They gave me something for the pain and I started feeling better eventually. At about 18:30 I was discharged and we went home.
N ran me a bath and right before I was going to get it, it hit me again - shaking, dizziness and nausea. It was bad. N helped me to bed where I had to have a Valtaren suppository and eventually slept for an hour or two. I woke up to go to the loo and as I sat on the loo it happened again. This time I started sweating as well. N gave me some sugar water and I could barely hold the glass. She helped me back to bed and we noticed the swelling. I was huge but just on one side. We knew I would swell but it didn't look right. N wanted to take me to the hospital but we both thought to wait a while and see if the feeling passed. And it did, eventually. I woke up super early and felt like shit, AND I had to feel like this on my birthday. N called the FS and they said that it was probably all from the anesthetic.
I finally got to bath then N went out and came back with tons of birthday treats - flowers, chocolate cake, biltong, chocolate slab, muffins, cappuccino, ice-cream and DVD's. She spoilt me so much! Even though I couldn't eat the majority of all the nice goodies it felt so good that N went to so much effort for me.
The nurse from the FS's offices called to see how I was feeling and reminded me of my follow-up appointment on the 18th.
I couldn't sleep normally and had four pillows under my head and a preggy pillow under my knees. This was the most comfortable position and luckily it allowed me to sleep so well on the second night.
Its been quite a ride and I honestly expected it to be so much easier. I didn't think there would be so much discomfort. I've been so swollen that I could not wear any of my tracksuit pants, nothing would fit over my stomach. I looked about 4 months pregnant - seriously!! Its only going down today and only last night was I able to sleep on my sides.
I'm on Estrofem for 21 days then Provera for 7 days. Thereafter I'll have another Hysteroscopy then hopefully we'll get to start IUI's again.
I'm so thankful for N. I couldn't imagine going through all this without her, she did everything for me from putting my socks on to being my nurse at 01:00 in the morning. Everyone needs an N in their lives!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Tomorrow is the day!
I've neglected this blog so much but I have good reason, I promise.
My mom fell almost three weeks ago and wasn't able to walk afterwards. She's since been in hospital where she is no longer receiving the best care. The hospital was good in the beginning but now they're bad and don't take proper care of her. I don't want to go into too much detail now. She's meant to go to rehab to make her stronger so that she can walk again but the medical aid won't give authorization for it. Bastards!!
I'm praying like crazy that things improve for her. I'm hoping for a miracle!
Aside from all that, tomorrow is surgery day! I thought I'd be so nervous but I haven't even thought about it to be honest. I'm just hoping that all will be ok. I have to be admitted into hospital at 10 tomorrow morning and will hopefully be out a few hours later.
My mom fell almost three weeks ago and wasn't able to walk afterwards. She's since been in hospital where she is no longer receiving the best care. The hospital was good in the beginning but now they're bad and don't take proper care of her. I don't want to go into too much detail now. She's meant to go to rehab to make her stronger so that she can walk again but the medical aid won't give authorization for it. Bastards!!
I'm praying like crazy that things improve for her. I'm hoping for a miracle!
Aside from all that, tomorrow is surgery day! I thought I'd be so nervous but I haven't even thought about it to be honest. I'm just hoping that all will be ok. I have to be admitted into hospital at 10 tomorrow morning and will hopefully be out a few hours later.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Meme
Thanks to Nicole for tagging me
Hair: Messy
Your Mother: Recovering
Your Father: Passed
Fav Food: All
Dream Last Night: Weird
Fav Drink: Coffee
What room are you in?: Bedroom
Hobby: Reading
Fear: Childless
Where were you last night?: Inlaws
Something that you aren’t: Content
Muffins: Chocolate
Wish List Item: Baby
Where you grew up: Kempton
What you are wearing: Jeans
Your Pet: Restless
Friends: Quiet
Something you’re not wearing: Scarf
Fav Store: Woolworths
Fav Color: Purple
Last time you laughed: Tonight
Your Best Friend: Unstable
Best Place you go over and over: Away :-)
Person who you email regularly: N
Fav Place to Eat: CiaoBaby
I'm a bit behind on doing this so everyone's been tagged already!
Hair: Messy
Your Mother: Recovering
Your Father: Passed
Fav Food: All
Dream Last Night: Weird
Fav Drink: Coffee
What room are you in?: Bedroom
Hobby: Reading
Fear: Childless
Where were you last night?: Inlaws
Something that you aren’t: Content
Muffins: Chocolate
Wish List Item: Baby
Where you grew up: Kempton
What you are wearing: Jeans
Your Pet: Restless
Friends: Quiet
Something you’re not wearing: Scarf
Fav Store: Woolworths
Fav Color: Purple
Last time you laughed: Tonight
Your Best Friend: Unstable
Best Place you go over and over: Away :-)
Person who you email regularly: N
Fav Place to Eat: CiaoBaby
I'm a bit behind on doing this so everyone's been tagged already!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Monday
I'm literally counting down the days till my surgery - 23 days to go! It seems terribly long still and I'm not working at the moment which makes the time drag by even slower. I just pray that this does the trick. I've had my BFP post already planned word for word in my head and it would be heartbreaking to never be able to post it. I'm beyond concerned as to whether or not I'll actually ever fall pregnant. I can't look past the fact that I can't imagine myself pregnant, much like I can't imagine myself stick thin, its just something that seems so far out of reach. I long for the feeling of a little miracle growing inside me and not knowing if my future holds that scares me so much. I hate having no control over the situation. I'm not used to that. I'm used to having control over every little thing in my life. Not having control over this leaves me feeling very insecure and anxious.
If only I had a crystal ball....
If only I had a crystal ball....
Monday, April 5, 2010
Monday....again
Secondly, our goddaughter, Madison
She loves to frown!
I get to feed her whenever we visit but I haven't quite mastered the burping thing yet
She loves to frown!
I get to feed her whenever we visit but I haven't quite mastered the burping thing yet
Monday
Now that I've figured out that posting pics isn't the fault of blogger but actually mine (thanks AWJ) I thought I'd post the pics as promised.
Firstly, N's accident in February
Firstly, N's accident in February
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Sunday
Wow I am so touched by your comments, and I seriously appreciate each and every one of them. The support system in this community is truly amazing and I am so thankful for it.
I can't believe the amount of new pregnancies in blogland that happened just this last week. I'm pretty sure this is a new record! I'm really happy for all of you and hope that you have happy, stress-free and healthy pregnancies.
Happy Easter to everyone! I hope you all have a good one. We haven't been up to much due to the crappy weather, it's been raining on and off since last week so it puts a bit of a damper on everything. Friday was pretty good though, our almost 6 week old goddaughter came with her parents for lunch. She is getting so big so fast and every time I hold her I don't want to let her go, she's just too precious.
I have so many pictures that I want to post but for some reason blogger hasn't allowed me to for over a month now and I can't seem to get it fixed. If anyone can help here's the problem - it allows me to download the pic but once its finished downloading it doesn't display the pic instead it gives a huge paragraph of letters and symbols....... any idea?
I can't believe the amount of new pregnancies in blogland that happened just this last week. I'm pretty sure this is a new record! I'm really happy for all of you and hope that you have happy, stress-free and healthy pregnancies.
Happy Easter to everyone! I hope you all have a good one. We haven't been up to much due to the crappy weather, it's been raining on and off since last week so it puts a bit of a damper on everything. Friday was pretty good though, our almost 6 week old goddaughter came with her parents for lunch. She is getting so big so fast and every time I hold her I don't want to let her go, she's just too precious.
I have so many pictures that I want to post but for some reason blogger hasn't allowed me to for over a month now and I can't seem to get it fixed. If anyone can help here's the problem - it allows me to download the pic but once its finished downloading it doesn't display the pic instead it gives a huge paragraph of letters and symbols....... any idea?
Friday, April 2, 2010
HSG results
The actual procedure went very well, there wasn't the tiniest bit of discomfort let alone pain. An hour before I took four Nuro.fen (Ibupro.fen) which definitely helped. When my doc said I was going to feel a burning / stinging sensation I expected the worse but didn't feel a thing. He injected the dye and I watched on the monitor but didn't really concentrate on what I was seeing as I was still expecting pain. I asked him if everything looked ok and he said that he'll talk to me once we're done, I should have known that something was wrong there and then. Our appointment for the consultation was over an hour away so we went to have a quick breakfast, but about five minutes after we left I got the most intense cramps ever. Seriously, I could barely talk, the pain just took my breath away. I took two more Nuro.fens and in about 10 minutes it started to subside. After breakfast we returned for our consultation appointment with the doc. He was so nice and quickly brought N up to speed on what his concerns were previously. Then he showed us an x-ray of a normal uterus and an x-ray of my uterus, and asked if we could see the difference. N immediately picked up that mine was not shaped the same. To my horror he began to explain that my uterus is concave on top which has something to do with a septum. He gave it a name but I have no clue what it was. Basically a fertilized egg would only have a small space to implant in and if by some miracle it did implant I would miscarry fairly early in the pregnancy. At this point I was close to tears thinking I would never bear a child. Then he added that I most probably have Endo.metriosis as well which is a big contributing factor to the amount of pain I have every month.
After all the bad news he said that it can be fixed by removing the fibrous (?) tissue on top of the uterus. He showed us a video clip of a procedure which he performed where the septum had divided the uterus completely and he had to cut the septum to make a normal single uterus.
Long story short I will have to undergo a Lap.aroscopy, Hyst.eroscopy, ablation of Endo.metriosis and a biopsy of the endometrim. AND this will all cost the same as an IVF procedure!! He seems confident that our medical aid will cover it but I know in South Africa our medical aids don't cover anything related to fertility.
Now the frustrating part - I will have to wait till the beginning of May to have these procedures and then only start with IUI's again in June (if all goes well). I know to some people this doesn't sound long but our last IUI was in February and I just feel like we're wasting so much damn time. That's what annoys me the most, oh and the fact that I'm booked to have the procedures the day before my birthday, that really sucks! They only do these procedures on Tuesdays and the Tuesday which I'm supposed to have it is a public holiday so it has to happen the week after.
After all this shitty news there are a couple of good things 1) My blood work all came back fine 2) I have immunity to Rubella (if I didn't I would have had to have gotten vaccinated now and waited another three months).
So that's my story. I'm really so upset about all this. Now instead of wondering "when" I'm wondering "if" it will ever happen.
After all the bad news he said that it can be fixed by removing the fibrous (?) tissue on top of the uterus. He showed us a video clip of a procedure which he performed where the septum had divided the uterus completely and he had to cut the septum to make a normal single uterus.
Long story short I will have to undergo a Lap.aroscopy, Hyst.eroscopy, ablation of Endo.metriosis and a biopsy of the endometrim. AND this will all cost the same as an IVF procedure!! He seems confident that our medical aid will cover it but I know in South Africa our medical aids don't cover anything related to fertility.
Now the frustrating part - I will have to wait till the beginning of May to have these procedures and then only start with IUI's again in June (if all goes well). I know to some people this doesn't sound long but our last IUI was in February and I just feel like we're wasting so much damn time. That's what annoys me the most, oh and the fact that I'm booked to have the procedures the day before my birthday, that really sucks! They only do these procedures on Tuesdays and the Tuesday which I'm supposed to have it is a public holiday so it has to happen the week after.
After all this shitty news there are a couple of good things 1) My blood work all came back fine 2) I have immunity to Rubella (if I didn't I would have had to have gotten vaccinated now and waited another three months).
So that's my story. I'm really so upset about all this. Now instead of wondering "when" I'm wondering "if" it will ever happen.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Tuesday
Today is CD6 and my HSG has been booked for Thursday (CD8). I've read some horror stories about the HSG so I'm a bit nervous. Luckily N has taken the whole day off so she'll be at the appointment this time (although she was at the scan but not the first appointment). I've read that some people get severe cramping and infections afterwards, I so hope that doesn't happen.
I'm so happy that the long weekend is just around the corner, even though tomorrow is the last day of my contract at work, its so good to be together and not have to get up early for work. These last few mornings have been so difficult and its not like we wake up very early for work either, we get up about 6:40 but I think its because autumn is on its way. Its cooler outside in the mornings and evenings and its getting darker quicker than usual. Go away winter!! I'm not up for the cold, I love summer and the freedom one has in the warm sunny weather.
We took the plunge and booked our December holiday. Since we've been together we've never gone on holiday during the December holiday season. Last year we promised ourselves that we would take off work and go away. Thank goodness that I remembered and started looking for accommodation because more than 3/4 of the places that I enquired at were already fully booked for Dec / Jan. Luckily we found two gorgeous places where we'll be staying at. We're going to a part of South Africa that neither of us has ever been but have always wanted to go as its absolutely beautiful. I can't wait!
I'm so happy that the long weekend is just around the corner, even though tomorrow is the last day of my contract at work, its so good to be together and not have to get up early for work. These last few mornings have been so difficult and its not like we wake up very early for work either, we get up about 6:40 but I think its because autumn is on its way. Its cooler outside in the mornings and evenings and its getting darker quicker than usual. Go away winter!! I'm not up for the cold, I love summer and the freedom one has in the warm sunny weather.
We took the plunge and booked our December holiday. Since we've been together we've never gone on holiday during the December holiday season. Last year we promised ourselves that we would take off work and go away. Thank goodness that I remembered and started looking for accommodation because more than 3/4 of the places that I enquired at were already fully booked for Dec / Jan. Luckily we found two gorgeous places where we'll be staying at. We're going to a part of South Africa that neither of us has ever been but have always wanted to go as its absolutely beautiful. I can't wait!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday
This morning we went for the CD2 scan. We were up at 05:25, which is just a ridiculous hour to get up, and we were at the FS at 07:00. Good grief were we in for a shock! There must have been 30 woman there waiting to get their scans done. Luckily we didn't have to wait that long and went in about 30 min later. I was dreading the scan especially since AF is quite heavy the first few days, but it was fine, no grossness.
The radiologist checked that my lining was thinning and something about my ovaries, all was ok. After I got dressed we went downstairs for the blood tests - I'm surprised I have any left after all the blood that they took. Then a trip back upstairs to see the nurses and finally back downstairs to order our sperm. Thank goodness we ordered it today as it might not have gotten here in time with all the public holidays.
Usually I dread the day that AF arrives but this time I couldn't have been happier! I'm so glad to get started and to get all the tests done to see where we go from here.
Tomorrow morning I'll go for my CD3 blood work, thankfully we don't have to go back to the FS for that, we can just go to the hospital close by.
The radiologist checked that my lining was thinning and something about my ovaries, all was ok. After I got dressed we went downstairs for the blood tests - I'm surprised I have any left after all the blood that they took. Then a trip back upstairs to see the nurses and finally back downstairs to order our sperm. Thank goodness we ordered it today as it might not have gotten here in time with all the public holidays.
Usually I dread the day that AF arrives but this time I couldn't have been happier! I'm so glad to get started and to get all the tests done to see where we go from here.
Tomorrow morning I'll go for my CD3 blood work, thankfully we don't have to go back to the FS for that, we can just go to the hospital close by.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Thursday
The surprise weekend for N didn't turn out as planned. I searched and searched for places about an hour away for us to stay at but being a long weekend the choice was limited. The one I found I thought was lovely but it was totally NOT. Before we left I took N for a massage and a scrumptious breakfast. We then left to our destination. The instant we drove up the driveway of this place it felt off. We eventually found the guy that ran the place (the owners son) and he started showing us into the wrong place. They had put someone else into the studio that I had booked. Eventually they asked the other guy to go into the other apartment and showed us in. Arghhhh! It was horrible! It wasn't filthy but definitely wasn't up to my standard of cleanliness. We got our stuff in and went for a walk around which took two minutes (after seeing all the activities offered in the area, as advertised on their website). The place was in need of some serious TLC. Beside for the appearance of it, being inside just felt strange, I didn't feel myself in this place. The more we looked around the more creeped out I was. The owners were a couple of artists. The deceased husband was a sculptor and his work was displayed all over the studio in which we stayed, he also built the whole place himself. We went through a desk in the studio in the hope to find some pamphlets of the activities in the area and instead found some of his personal items and books of things he had written (all in his handwriting). I don't know when or how he died but seeing all this stuff and getting that feeling in that place just made things worse.
If I had had my way we would have left immediately but N insisted that we stay and see how it goes. That night I slept all of an hour, I was so nervous and uneasy that I couldn't bear it. I prayed so much to get through the night. The instant I saw the sun rising I was relieved, when N woke up we packed our things and left.
Unfortunately I had to pay for the next night that we weren't staying there but I didn't care at the time I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
Luckily the rest of the day was really good. We went to the Lion and Rhino Reserve which we both loved, the Wonder Caves and then ventured back home.
Countingchickens that is so awesome that you worked in Mozambique, I haven't been there but I hear parts are really gorgeous. What did you do there, if you don't mind me asking?
If I had had my way we would have left immediately but N insisted that we stay and see how it goes. That night I slept all of an hour, I was so nervous and uneasy that I couldn't bear it. I prayed so much to get through the night. The instant I saw the sun rising I was relieved, when N woke up we packed our things and left.
Unfortunately I had to pay for the next night that we weren't staying there but I didn't care at the time I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
Luckily the rest of the day was really good. We went to the Lion and Rhino Reserve which we both loved, the Wonder Caves and then ventured back home.
Countingchickens that is so awesome that you worked in Mozambique, I haven't been there but I hear parts are really gorgeous. What did you do there, if you don't mind me asking?
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thursday
Today I received the donor lists from our FS. I could not be happier!! There are 17 donors, that's right 17! If you remember at the previous Cr.yo B.ank there were only 5 caucasian donors. They give loads of other info on the donors too, like the parents nationality and / religion and a short paragraph written by the donor describing themselves, not physically but how they are as a person. Some of them sound so lovely I can only imagine what they must be like.
As far as appearances go we're trying to look for one's that are blond with green eye's and not to tall - in other words the male version of N.
AF is on her way and that makes me so nervous because I'm supposed to get the scan and blood tests on CD2 and since I'm planning a surprise weekend away with N it might prove a bit difficult. We won't be too far out of town but the whole thing of disrupting our little getaway annoys me a bit, but I suppose if its gotta be done we'll have to make a plan and do it. What also makes it a bit annoying is that they only do the scans at 07:00 - 07:30AM on the weekends, so we'd have to get up super early to get there...urgh!
As far as appearances go we're trying to look for one's that are blond with green eye's and not to tall - in other words the male version of N.
AF is on her way and that makes me so nervous because I'm supposed to get the scan and blood tests on CD2 and since I'm planning a surprise weekend away with N it might prove a bit difficult. We won't be too far out of town but the whole thing of disrupting our little getaway annoys me a bit, but I suppose if its gotta be done we'll have to make a plan and do it. What also makes it a bit annoying is that they only do the scans at 07:00 - 07:30AM on the weekends, so we'd have to get up super early to get there...urgh!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Tuesday
I can't seem to find anything interesting enough to blog about everyday, so once a week seems to becoming the norm.
On Thursday night we were sitting on the couch watching Desperate Housewives. Chloe (my little Maltese) was sitting next to me. During an ad break I bent down to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, obviously she got the hugest fright and she bit me! She grabbed hold of my nose and clenched down till I hit her to let go. I immediately ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The blood was streaming down my face (just like in the movies) and although it wasn't painful the amount of blood shocked me. I didn't think it was bad enough to go to the hospital but N called the ER and they said to come in immediately for a Tetanus injection. Once I got there they just examined me, cleaned me up, gave me the shot and some medication in case of infection. I still felt no pain until the next day, wow! My nose was so swollen it looked as if I was smacked right in the face. My psycho little doggy did get a fright though and knew that she had done something very bad. Its healing well now and I'm hoping its not going to leave a scar.
On the TTC front obviously not much is happening so far as I have to wait for AF, but the strangest thing happened - I started spotting on CD15, how weird is that?! I can't think of why it would happen so early and I can't think of what could be wrong. I'm hoping AF shows up soon so that we can get the ball rolling on all the tests that need to get done. Speaking of tests, I'm a little concerned about the CD2 scan. How messy is it going to be? It seems so gross to me to have to have it on the second day of full flow. I'm so not looking forward to it!
This weekend coming is a long weekend in SA and I'm very much looking forward to it because I've planned a big surprise for N. I told her not to make any plans for the entire weekend so from that she already knows that we're going away. I can't give anymore details since she reads my blog but I'll post pics on our return.
On Thursday night we were sitting on the couch watching Desperate Housewives. Chloe (my little Maltese) was sitting next to me. During an ad break I bent down to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, obviously she got the hugest fright and she bit me! She grabbed hold of my nose and clenched down till I hit her to let go. I immediately ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The blood was streaming down my face (just like in the movies) and although it wasn't painful the amount of blood shocked me. I didn't think it was bad enough to go to the hospital but N called the ER and they said to come in immediately for a Tetanus injection. Once I got there they just examined me, cleaned me up, gave me the shot and some medication in case of infection. I still felt no pain until the next day, wow! My nose was so swollen it looked as if I was smacked right in the face. My psycho little doggy did get a fright though and knew that she had done something very bad. Its healing well now and I'm hoping its not going to leave a scar.
On the TTC front obviously not much is happening so far as I have to wait for AF, but the strangest thing happened - I started spotting on CD15, how weird is that?! I can't think of why it would happen so early and I can't think of what could be wrong. I'm hoping AF shows up soon so that we can get the ball rolling on all the tests that need to get done. Speaking of tests, I'm a little concerned about the CD2 scan. How messy is it going to be? It seems so gross to me to have to have it on the second day of full flow. I'm so not looking forward to it!
This weekend coming is a long weekend in SA and I'm very much looking forward to it because I've planned a big surprise for N. I told her not to make any plans for the entire weekend so from that she already knows that we're going away. I can't give anymore details since she reads my blog but I'll post pics on our return.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
First appointment with FS
This morning was our first appointment with the FS. I was so damn nervous and what made it worse is that N couldn't make it. The American owners of her new company were coming in today so there was no way she could get off, and I wasn't prepared to wait another month to get an appointment so I sucked it up and went alone.
The consultation went quite quick, he seemed concerned that N wasn't there, he then did an internal exam and back to the consulting room. There we spoke about my cycle and he asked a bunch of questions. It turns out he's concerned about three things - the pain I get with AF, the spotting before AF and that AF isn't regular (25 - 28 days). He said not to think about IVF right now as he would like to do a bunch of tests first.
On CD2 he'll do a sonar and blood tests, CD3 blood tests and then after AF is finished he'll do a HSG x-ray to check that all is clear and that my tubes aren't blocked. I'm not looking forward to any of this cos I'm worried that something might be wrong.
In the mean time he said we should have a look at the donor list, which I'm happy to say is so much more extensive than the Cryo.bank's list. There should be 10 - 15 white donors as opposed to 5. Hopefully I'll receive the list tomorrow.
So thats where we are right now, now we wait, I'm on CD13 today so we'll still have to wait a while till AF starts. For once I really want it to hurry up and come!
The consultation went quite quick, he seemed concerned that N wasn't there, he then did an internal exam and back to the consulting room. There we spoke about my cycle and he asked a bunch of questions. It turns out he's concerned about three things - the pain I get with AF, the spotting before AF and that AF isn't regular (25 - 28 days). He said not to think about IVF right now as he would like to do a bunch of tests first.
On CD2 he'll do a sonar and blood tests, CD3 blood tests and then after AF is finished he'll do a HSG x-ray to check that all is clear and that my tubes aren't blocked. I'm not looking forward to any of this cos I'm worried that something might be wrong.
In the mean time he said we should have a look at the donor list, which I'm happy to say is so much more extensive than the Cryo.bank's list. There should be 10 - 15 white donors as opposed to 5. Hopefully I'll receive the list tomorrow.
So thats where we are right now, now we wait, I'm on CD13 today so we'll still have to wait a while till AF starts. For once I really want it to hurry up and come!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Friday
Thank you all for your comments, we appreciate them all so much.
A lot of things have been going on lately. We seem to constantly be busy and not get any time to ourselves (whats new?!). The company that N works for got sold, they let all the staff go but kept N and her manager. They are understaffed and crazy busy so she's tired all the time and still recovering from the accident. Luckily we don't have to deal with only having one car, her mom lent her her car till she gets a new one, since I'm working again it would be so difficult to only use my car. Being back at work after 8 months is quite an adjustment, getting up so early and been away from home the whole day seems like such a distant memory.
Once again there's so much nonsense going on with my mom's company that my brother is running. My stress levels are at an all time high at the moment. I'm thinking about going for acupuncture as I hear that amongst other things it can be a great stress reliever.
On the TTC side of things - we are unsure how this cycle will go. We are finally able to go to a FS, but because of the timing of the appointment we might have to give this cycle a miss. Our appointment is on CD14, the day that I would normally ovulate and according to one of their nurses they are very strict and would first like me to undergo some testing before doing another IUI. Also they get their donor sperm from the opposite side of the country so it takes a bit of time before it gets here. I'm really upset that we'll have to skip this cycle as its our last chance for a 2010 baby, but I don't seem to have any control over this.
I've heard very good things about this group of fertility specialists so we're hoping that they live up to their good name. The particular FS that we could get an appointment with is believed to be a bit conservative and old school as far as seeing same sex couples are concerned. Apparently all the doctors get to see you at some point, I'm hoping that he's going to turn out to be nice.
Last week Tuesday our friends baby, Madison, was born. WOW! What a beautiful little girl. 3.18kg, 54cm and perfect! I went to see her in the hospital two days after she was born and was so taken back, the tears just flowed. She is now 1 week 3 days and has the best god parents ever - US!! We were ecstatic to hear that her parents had named us the god parents, what a privilege. I've already held her and fed her and am now overwhelmed by the need for our own little one. N is over the moon and I think Madison's birth has just given us that extra bit of confidence that we need to know that we can do this, we just need to get pregnant!!
A lot of things have been going on lately. We seem to constantly be busy and not get any time to ourselves (whats new?!). The company that N works for got sold, they let all the staff go but kept N and her manager. They are understaffed and crazy busy so she's tired all the time and still recovering from the accident. Luckily we don't have to deal with only having one car, her mom lent her her car till she gets a new one, since I'm working again it would be so difficult to only use my car. Being back at work after 8 months is quite an adjustment, getting up so early and been away from home the whole day seems like such a distant memory.
Once again there's so much nonsense going on with my mom's company that my brother is running. My stress levels are at an all time high at the moment. I'm thinking about going for acupuncture as I hear that amongst other things it can be a great stress reliever.
On the TTC side of things - we are unsure how this cycle will go. We are finally able to go to a FS, but because of the timing of the appointment we might have to give this cycle a miss. Our appointment is on CD14, the day that I would normally ovulate and according to one of their nurses they are very strict and would first like me to undergo some testing before doing another IUI. Also they get their donor sperm from the opposite side of the country so it takes a bit of time before it gets here. I'm really upset that we'll have to skip this cycle as its our last chance for a 2010 baby, but I don't seem to have any control over this.
I've heard very good things about this group of fertility specialists so we're hoping that they live up to their good name. The particular FS that we could get an appointment with is believed to be a bit conservative and old school as far as seeing same sex couples are concerned. Apparently all the doctors get to see you at some point, I'm hoping that he's going to turn out to be nice.
Last week Tuesday our friends baby, Madison, was born. WOW! What a beautiful little girl. 3.18kg, 54cm and perfect! I went to see her in the hospital two days after she was born and was so taken back, the tears just flowed. She is now 1 week 3 days and has the best god parents ever - US!! We were ecstatic to hear that her parents had named us the god parents, what a privilege. I've already held her and fed her and am now overwhelmed by the need for our own little one. N is over the moon and I think Madison's birth has just given us that extra bit of confidence that we need to know that we can do this, we just need to get pregnant!!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Scary day!
On Friday at about 15:00 I got word that N had been in a car accident. I immediately left home for the accident site. Obviously I was beyond panicked and drove like a maniac to get there. As I got closer the traffic was backed up on all sides due to the accident. I pulled onto the pavement, got out my car and started running up toward the site. Her car then started being more visible and the state that it was in and I was hit by the wave of shock. When I got closer and saw her dad I just started crying and asking where she was. Eventually they said she was ok but that the ambulance had taken her to the hospital. The police started asking me questions which I answered but then brushed them off to try get an understanding of what had happened. They gave me the address of the hospital and I ran back to my car and left for the hospital. On the way I called my brother to give me directions to the hospital as I had no idea where it was.
I got to the ER and ran in. One of the paramedics got my attention and asked if I was K, I told her I was, she explained what had happened and the condition in which N was in. They wanted me to fill out a load of paper work but I was shaking so much so they took me to see N first. The second I saw her I wanted to hold her and not let go but they said she wasn't allowed to move at all so I couldn't. She had a cut above one eye, the other eye had glass in so they had put some yellow stuff in and she had some bruises and stratches on her face and legs. She was still in shock but thankfully she seemed ok. For the next few hours they took x-rays of her neck and back and finally at 19:30 they gave her strong pain killers and said she was good to go.
It was so scary knowing that I could have lost her. When I was in the waiting room I was beside myself with worry, the last time I rushed to the ER I came home without my dad and I couldn't imagine going through something like that again. I prayed so much and thank God she's ok.
Her car is totally mangled and has been written off. I could post pics but blogger doesn't seem to want me too. When I'm able I'll put them up.
I got to the ER and ran in. One of the paramedics got my attention and asked if I was K, I told her I was, she explained what had happened and the condition in which N was in. They wanted me to fill out a load of paper work but I was shaking so much so they took me to see N first. The second I saw her I wanted to hold her and not let go but they said she wasn't allowed to move at all so I couldn't. She had a cut above one eye, the other eye had glass in so they had put some yellow stuff in and she had some bruises and stratches on her face and legs. She was still in shock but thankfully she seemed ok. For the next few hours they took x-rays of her neck and back and finally at 19:30 they gave her strong pain killers and said she was good to go.
It was so scary knowing that I could have lost her. When I was in the waiting room I was beside myself with worry, the last time I rushed to the ER I came home without my dad and I couldn't imagine going through something like that again. I prayed so much and thank God she's ok.
Her car is totally mangled and has been written off. I could post pics but blogger doesn't seem to want me too. When I'm able I'll put them up.
Update
So its been another long break, not a break from TTC though. Here's how the last cycle went:
* CD3 - CD7 I was on Clomid after much convincing (my doc is not a fan of giving ovulation induction when you ovulate on your own already)
* CD12 Follicle scan, 2 fat follicles. Doc gave me a Pregnyl injection
* CD13 IUI at 07:00
* CD14 IUI at 08:00
* CD26 AF arrived early
We were both so damn upset and were convinced that I was in fact pregnant but alas I was not!
* CD3 - CD7 I was on Clomid after much convincing (my doc is not a fan of giving ovulation induction when you ovulate on your own already)
* CD12 Follicle scan, 2 fat follicles. Doc gave me a Pregnyl injection
* CD13 IUI at 07:00
* CD14 IUI at 08:00
* CD26 AF arrived early
We were both so damn upset and were convinced that I was in fact pregnant but alas I was not!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Still here
I'm still here. I haven't posted in so long mainly because not much has being going on. Here's a little update
- Up until last week my stress levels were at an all time high. I couldn't eat and lost a bit of weight (not a bad thing) but I'd rather eat everything in sight that have so much shit again. It was mainly family issues regarding my mom's business and my brother. Things are still up in the air, only time will tell what the outcome will be.
- Our Valentines day was gorgeous! We didn't do gifts but the day was a gift in itself. We had a picnic at the botanical gardens. The weather was perfect, the food was good and we were both so happy. I love those days when you feel all warm inside and everything seems perfect. I wish we could have more days like that.
- After our picnic we went to watch the movie Valentines Day, which was ok, good but not brilliant.
- We went to a baby shower a couple of weeks ago and have another one this weekend.
- A friend of N's had her baby and we went to visit when she was 1 week 3 days old. This baby girl was so absolutely beautiful. At 32cm long she was tiny. Her mom says she's so quiet and hardly cries. She had a c-section and said it wasn't so bad but wasn't a nice experience. She said the epidural was incredibly painful.
- We need a holiday! Valentines day showed us now more than ever that we need more time alone. I feel so much more relaxed when N and I are away from everything, from all the responsibilities and all the worry that seems to have been laid upon us. Ah but I can only dream.........
Monday, February 1, 2010
Monday
After a horribly emotional weekend AF arrived 2 days early today. Such a disappointment! I'm not sure what our next step is, will update when we know though.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thursday
This doesn't seem to be our cycle. I started spotting last night, which is weird because AF is still six days away. I don't know what our next step is going to be. I'm so disappointed, I had such high hopes for this cycle.
This is really hard I don't know how people get through this over and over again.
This is really hard I don't know how people get through this over and over again.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Monday
In short, our weekend in bullets
- We went to watch Did you hear about the Morgans on Saturday night, it was really good, funny and entertaining.
- We had the best time shopping for the baby shower gifts, if I could I would've bought the whole shop. Luckily baby clothing is relatively cheap so you can get more bang for your buck. Both of the babies are girls but their parents have over loaded their clothing with pink items so we were sure not to get anything pink.
- Baby no. 1 gift
- Baby no. 2 gift
- On Sunday we went to church. The last time I was in church was for my fathers funeral and the time before that was when I was about 8. It was good, we both enjoyed it and what made it even better was that only gay people attended. Also what made it so good was that our good friend M was there. We were pleasantly surprised by the sermon and the way in which the minister presented it.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Is everyone pregnant??
That's how it seems. Yet another person that I know just got the news that she's pregnant. Its not an easy pill to swallow! I'm so scared that our last insem didn't work, this was the most expensive one we've done and if it doesn't work out I doubt we'll be able to do a double again or even get the follicle scan again.
We've also got two baby showers to attend in February, which I'm so looking forward to. I love seeing all the baby goodies that people get and I can't wait to go shopping for our gifts (my favourite part).
I emailed a bunch of fertility clinics this morning to get their costs and its just crazy. One place is actually 13 (yes - thirteen) times more expensive .... wait for it ..... to ONLY perform the procedure then on top of that they charge double for the sperm and this all excludes scans, medication and doctors consultations. Are these people high or what?? None of these cost are covered by the medical aid and everything has to come out our pocket. In this economy who can afford these costs??!
We've also got two baby showers to attend in February, which I'm so looking forward to. I love seeing all the baby goodies that people get and I can't wait to go shopping for our gifts (my favourite part).
I emailed a bunch of fertility clinics this morning to get their costs and its just crazy. One place is actually 13 (yes - thirteen) times more expensive .... wait for it ..... to ONLY perform the procedure then on top of that they charge double for the sperm and this all excludes scans, medication and doctors consultations. Are these people high or what?? None of these cost are covered by the medical aid and everything has to come out our pocket. In this economy who can afford these costs??!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Brace yourself this is gonna be long!
So Sunday I took a OPK and it was negative as I mentioned in my last post, which I thought was a little strange. On Monday morning I woke up super early and did another one which was also negative. I started to panic thinking that I got a pack of duds. The minute the pharmacy opened I was there getting a new pack (more expensive and with less tests). I waited till the afternoon to test and again it was negative. I knew something was wrong but though I'd leave it till the next morning, which I did. Again early yesterday morning I did another OPK and it was negative. So in a fit of panic I called my gynae and asked the nurse for advice. She said that I should rather come in for a follicle scan as she wasn't sure how accurate the urine OPK's are. I was trying to avoid going for a follicle scan as its really expensive (they charge for the scan and for a consultation), but I was too scared that I'd miss the right time and I'd have to wait another month - pure torture!!
Luckily they had an opening at 12:45. The whole morning was so damn stressfull, my mom fell a few weeks back and I had to take her for x-rays. It sounds so simple but my mom has MS and to take her in a wheel chair takes time and patients, something I didn't have. Fortunately for me my gynae is right next to the hospital where she had her x-rays taken, so I dropped her off and went to check my lady bits.
After waiting an hour to see the doc I eventually got to have my scan. I told him what had being happening with the OPKs and he said that he doesn't trust any urine tests - OPKs or pregnancy. He started with the scan and found a large follicle (22mm) and I was so happy, but that was soon crushed. He took a look from a different angle and said "oh dear it looks like it may have already ruptured". He showed me some slightly gagged edges, which didn't really look like much to me but he's the professional he must know what he's looking at. I immediately got tears in my eyes, thinking we'd missed the window. He obviously saw this and said not to worry if I'm able to go now to get an insemination I'll still have a chance. I flew out of his office and called N in a panic, told her to meet me at home so that we could go. Bearing in mind that it was already 14:15 and the Cryo.bank does their last insemination's at 15:00. I quickly picked my mom up and went home.
N and I drove as quick as we could without me getting another speeding fine. We got there right on time and after a quick chat to the technician about the quality of our donor's sperm we decided to change our donor. Our new man is shorter than our previous one (which probably suits N & I more) and with blue eyes not green. There's other characteristics that differ but I won't get into that now. Anyway we did the insemination and went home.
From that afternoon I noticed that my CM had changed dramatically and I was worried that the gynae had made a mistake, that the follicle hadn't ruptured. We had previously decided that it was pointless doing a second insemination as it would be too late, but this change made me wonder.
This morning when I woke up my CM was again different, according to the internet this was what I was supposed to get when ovulating. So we bit the bullet and went for a second insemination. Waste of money or worth it I don't know.
So that's my story. Now we wait. Two long weeks.
Luckily they had an opening at 12:45. The whole morning was so damn stressfull, my mom fell a few weeks back and I had to take her for x-rays. It sounds so simple but my mom has MS and to take her in a wheel chair takes time and patients, something I didn't have. Fortunately for me my gynae is right next to the hospital where she had her x-rays taken, so I dropped her off and went to check my lady bits.
After waiting an hour to see the doc I eventually got to have my scan. I told him what had being happening with the OPKs and he said that he doesn't trust any urine tests - OPKs or pregnancy. He started with the scan and found a large follicle (22mm) and I was so happy, but that was soon crushed. He took a look from a different angle and said "oh dear it looks like it may have already ruptured". He showed me some slightly gagged edges, which didn't really look like much to me but he's the professional he must know what he's looking at. I immediately got tears in my eyes, thinking we'd missed the window. He obviously saw this and said not to worry if I'm able to go now to get an insemination I'll still have a chance. I flew out of his office and called N in a panic, told her to meet me at home so that we could go. Bearing in mind that it was already 14:15 and the Cryo.bank does their last insemination's at 15:00. I quickly picked my mom up and went home.
N and I drove as quick as we could without me getting another speeding fine. We got there right on time and after a quick chat to the technician about the quality of our donor's sperm we decided to change our donor. Our new man is shorter than our previous one (which probably suits N & I more) and with blue eyes not green. There's other characteristics that differ but I won't get into that now. Anyway we did the insemination and went home.
From that afternoon I noticed that my CM had changed dramatically and I was worried that the gynae had made a mistake, that the follicle hadn't ruptured. We had previously decided that it was pointless doing a second insemination as it would be too late, but this change made me wonder.
This morning when I woke up my CM was again different, according to the internet this was what I was supposed to get when ovulating. So we bit the bullet and went for a second insemination. Waste of money or worth it I don't know.
So that's my story. Now we wait. Two long weeks.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday
The days seem to be going faster and faster this week, which makes me very happy, the quicker we get to inseminate the happier N & I both are. Yesterday I went to the Cryo.bank to pick up Ovidrel just in case I get a positive on the OPK on Sunday then we'll be able to trigger ourselves. He tried to explain exactly how to do it but doing it to someone else is far easier than doing it to yourself. I'm so used to injecting my mom in her stomach and everywhere else but her injections have a special "tool" that the syringe goes into in order to get the needle deep enough. I quickly decided that N will have to give me the injection, there's no way I'll be able to watch myself stick that thing in my stomach, way to scary for me!
I watched My Sisters Keeper again today. That movie is so sad, I can't believe how touching it is, I cried from start to finish! The first time we went to watch it in the cinema all the woman were all in tears, as we were walking out they all had tissues in their hands and puffy eyes, it was quite sweet. Even though its sad its a good movie. I love watching movies and I love watching movies more than once, N can't stand that and doesn't see the point, but you always see something that you missed the first time you see. Anyway next week we're going to watch Meet The Morgans with Sarah Jessica Parker, it looks so good and funny. Nothing better than a good comedy (well almost nothing)!
I watched My Sisters Keeper again today. That movie is so sad, I can't believe how touching it is, I cried from start to finish! The first time we went to watch it in the cinema all the woman were all in tears, as we were walking out they all had tissues in their hands and puffy eyes, it was quite sweet. Even though its sad its a good movie. I love watching movies and I love watching movies more than once, N can't stand that and doesn't see the point, but you always see something that you missed the first time you see. Anyway next week we're going to watch Meet The Morgans with Sarah Jessica Parker, it looks so good and funny. Nothing better than a good comedy (well almost nothing)!
Monday, January 11, 2010
What a weekend!
We tackled the massive task of installing our wooden flooring in our living and dining room this weekend and it was by far the biggest and most time consuming home DIY job we've done. We started ripping out the carpets on Saturday morning which sounds simple enough but you have to get out all the nails and all the rest before cleaning the floor and getting it ready. My in-laws arrived late morning and got started straight away, my mother in-law even got stuck in. It took us the whole weekend and the results are even better than we could have ever imagined but I think if I knew before hand what a huge job it would be I wouldn't have done it ourselves. All the moving of the furniture, the mess from the cutting of the boards, the exhaustion and the muscle stiffness was too much! Every muscle in my body was sore this morning, even my fingers!
Before ripping out our lovely yet impractical cream carpets
During (N & her Dad)
The finished product
Before ripping out our lovely yet impractical cream carpets
During (N & her Dad)
The finished product
Friday, January 8, 2010
Friday
I've added a few more vitamins to my daily lot that I take every morning, namely Vit E & Omega 3. Of course I'm willing to try anything that might improve our chances of falling pregnant. Yesterday I was browsing around a local newlywed forum and I came across a post where someone asked if they knew anything about a product called Staminogro. After doing some research it seems that this unique multi-vitamin is recommended by gynecologists to assist couples trying to conceive. After work I went to pick some up from the pharmacy and got chatting to the pharmacist, she also recommended a product called Fertivor. I had no idea you got a natural product like this. This is what it claims to do:
· Naturally and safely support the production of cervical fluids.
· Increase hydration of the mucin (liquidity of mucus).
· Promote mucus alkalinity and mucosal thinning.
· Support a healthy uterine lining for implantation of the embryo.
· Increase female vitality and stimulation.
· Assists in the treatment of PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome)
I started it last night as well as the Staminogro so I hope that its going to help.
I forgot to mention, I got a nasty surprise in the mail the other day. With our first insemination in November we made a mad dash to the gynae from the Cryo.bank and with all the speeding around I got a huge speeding fine. Luckily here in SA they have new regulations and you actually get a 50% discount if you pay the fine within 32 days of the incident. Thankfully I was able to do that otherwise I would have been out of R750, far too much for my liking!
· Naturally and safely support the production of cervical fluids.
· Increase hydration of the mucin (liquidity of mucus).
· Promote mucus alkalinity and mucosal thinning.
· Support a healthy uterine lining for implantation of the embryo.
· Increase female vitality and stimulation.
· Assists in the treatment of PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome)
I started it last night as well as the Staminogro so I hope that its going to help.
I forgot to mention, I got a nasty surprise in the mail the other day. With our first insemination in November we made a mad dash to the gynae from the Cryo.bank and with all the speeding around I got a huge speeding fine. Luckily here in SA they have new regulations and you actually get a 50% discount if you pay the fine within 32 days of the incident. Thankfully I was able to do that otherwise I would have been out of R750, far too much for my liking!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Wednesday
We've been considering doing a double IUI, but the timing seems to be an issue. I've done some research and found this which seems to have shed some light (only the first two pages are relevant). But I'm still not sure what the best times would be when having the trigger shot. First IUI 20 - 24 hours after trigger, second IUI 36 - 40 hours after trigger, does this sound right? What confuses things more is that I can't seem to find out how long the sperm lives once it gets inside, previously frozen sperm that is. The Cryo.bank says it can live for 24 hours but I've heard that it can only live for 6 hours.
Why do professionals all give conflicting advice?! I'd love some proper advice on the timing especially.
Why do professionals all give conflicting advice?! I'd love some proper advice on the timing especially.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Tuesday
Not much going on here. AF arrived a day early which is good, the quicker we can do the next insemination the better. I just found out that a "friend" (technically we've never met but used to email each other frequently throughout the planning of both our weddings) is pregnant. I know she deserves it, she's really one of those genuinely nice people but as soon as I felt happy for her I felt sad for me, for N and I. I want to be pregnant so badly but not knowing if and when all this trying is going to work really bugs me.
A colleague spoke to me yesterday about the TTC troubles him and his wife have been having and he mentioned that they were referred to a fertility clinic close by. Apparently friends of their's had previously had 5 IUI's done at a gynae and the first IUI they did at this fertility clinic they fell pregnant. I can't see that they do so much more than all the other places, although I'd love to give them a try, financially they're totally out of our reach. They're almost 3 - 4 times more expensive per cycle than our current options and this is just on standard procedures, it doesn't provide for any additional medication/scans/procedures. So I guess we're stuck trying until we get it right!
A colleague spoke to me yesterday about the TTC troubles him and his wife have been having and he mentioned that they were referred to a fertility clinic close by. Apparently friends of their's had previously had 5 IUI's done at a gynae and the first IUI they did at this fertility clinic they fell pregnant. I can't see that they do so much more than all the other places, although I'd love to give them a try, financially they're totally out of our reach. They're almost 3 - 4 times more expensive per cycle than our current options and this is just on standard procedures, it doesn't provide for any additional medication/scans/procedures. So I guess we're stuck trying until we get it right!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A new year
Can you believe that the new year is already upon us?! Time flies!
We had a quiet new years eve, we went out with a couple of friends for really good dinner at a new restaurant that just opened in our neighbourhood then back to their place for some drinks (not for me sadly) and quick fireworks display nearby. It was the most relaxed new years eve we've had in years.
N and I decided not to test on Friday morning as planned but early in the morning I dreamt about testing and getting a BFP, so the minute I woke up I tested. Unfortunately my dream was not about to come true as the test was negative. I was so upset, even though I knew deep down that it would be negative I was still hoping that there was a little bit of a chance. We're trying to decide what our next plan of action is - back to the gynae or Cryo.bank for the insemination. Its far less hassle and costs less to go to the Cryo.bank but the gynae does the follicle scans and is probably a bit more accurate. We'll have to see what works out best.
Even though Friday morning started off rather disappointing it soon improved with M coming around for a potjie (the first time we've made this). He seemed to be coping better than expected with the loss of Paul. He told us some more details on the accident - exactly what they think happened & that it would still take 6 months for the investigation to come to a conclusion, what the body looked like (although he didn't see it he insisted on knowing and was told by Paul's best friend who identified the body), obviously it was horrific due to the seriousness of the accident. After he told us all this we spoke a lot about Paul and all the happy times. It turned out to be a better day after all.
We had a quiet new years eve, we went out with a couple of friends for really good dinner at a new restaurant that just opened in our neighbourhood then back to their place for some drinks (not for me sadly) and quick fireworks display nearby. It was the most relaxed new years eve we've had in years.
N and I decided not to test on Friday morning as planned but early in the morning I dreamt about testing and getting a BFP, so the minute I woke up I tested. Unfortunately my dream was not about to come true as the test was negative. I was so upset, even though I knew deep down that it would be negative I was still hoping that there was a little bit of a chance. We're trying to decide what our next plan of action is - back to the gynae or Cryo.bank for the insemination. Its far less hassle and costs less to go to the Cryo.bank but the gynae does the follicle scans and is probably a bit more accurate. We'll have to see what works out best.
Even though Friday morning started off rather disappointing it soon improved with M coming around for a potjie (the first time we've made this). He seemed to be coping better than expected with the loss of Paul. He told us some more details on the accident - exactly what they think happened & that it would still take 6 months for the investigation to come to a conclusion, what the body looked like (although he didn't see it he insisted on knowing and was told by Paul's best friend who identified the body), obviously it was horrific due to the seriousness of the accident. After he told us all this we spoke a lot about Paul and all the happy times. It turned out to be a better day after all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)