Wednesday

IUI # 1 went well. My doctor did it which was good, he's so much more gentle than the others. We stopped for a quick breakfast then went back home. N went to work and I went to my Acupuncture appointment about 45 min away with all our lovely traffic.

The appointment was definitely bittersweet. It started with me giving her our basic TTC back ground. She asked some questions like was I having trouble sleeping, which has been a long standing problem for me. We chatted a bit more then I did this thing where I had to put my hands and bare feet on four metal pad things and two disks on my head attached to wires which in turn was attached to her PC. This was some sort of scan that had something to do with electrical impulses. From this she could pick up anything that wasn't quite right in my body.

The first things she picked up was kidney troubles. She said I was drinking far too little water and was probably dehydrated. Which is so true, I haven't been drinking nearly enough water / liquid for weeks. She noted various levels of certain things and asked me questions:
Do I get angry easily?
Do I get irritated easily?
Do I feel sad?
Do I feel like I've lost my security?
I couldn't believe it! She said all these things, especially the anger, is so built up in me. She asked what I worry about, I told her about my mom and then I mentioned about my dad passing away in the car with me while I drove him to the hospital. And just like that she knew where everything was coming from. She asked if I had had counseling after my dads passing, which I did, but we both agreed that it didn't help all that much (although I did feel a bit better talking about it at the time). My dad was my security, I always knew that if anything happened he would be there for me. That's the bitter part, the talking about him, I still can't talk about what happened that night, sometimes I think about it and it feels like I can't breath and I just pray so hard that that feeling goes away and that my memory of that night fades. All this time I've known that I wasn't the same person as I was before he died but I didn't think it had effected me to this extent.

She said my mind is like a hamster in his wheel, just running like crazy all day. I worry a lot about everything and she picked it up. She also picked up that my breathing is very shallow.

She encouraged me to do yoga, meditation & visualization and breathing exercises to help ease my mind and put me in a better place.

After all that it was time for the needles. I lay down while she inserted needles into my forehead, wrists, stomach, legs and ankles. It was a quick little prick which wasn't painful at all. Then she put on a meditation CD and asked me to think a lot about the colour orange. From then on things were good. I felt quite relaxed and given an extra 20 min I would've fallen fast asleep.

I will definitely go again, not sure when though.