My mom doesn't know that N and I are going to be TTC (and nor does anyone else for that matter) but long ago I remember her telling me that she kept a detailed record (almost like a scrapbook) of her pregnancy with me and my first year of life.
When I read it I couldn't help but get all teared up. She wrote about how much she was looking forward to meeting her new baby girl and how she's so lucky that she's going to have a girl as that's what her and my dad were hoping for. She also wrote about how she felt during the pregnancy and took pictures of her tummy as the months went by. During the first year she wrote of the progress which I was making and the things that I liked to do (like sucking the water out of my wash cloth during my bath). She said I loved my dad so much that I used to scream if he walked past me without picking me up, such a daddy's girl! There was a photo of my Dad holding me when I had just had a bath, he was so proud of his baby girl, you could just tell. I miss him too much for words, and it saddens me so much that our child will never know him, such a wonderful father, such a wonderful person.
I want that, I want our child to look back one day and see how much we wanted him/her and how much we treasured every moment of them growing up.
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