Ah the twists and turns

I mentioned sometime ago that the reason that I haven't been updating this blog much is due to us being so busy and simply not having time to. That is true and is one of the reasons but the main reason is we've had a big change of heart regarding something very major. I had not wanted to talk about it until we had discussed it thoroughly and taken considerable time to absorb both our fears, feelings and reasons for our change in "direction".

I had had this feeling for months, I knew it was what I wanted to do, what I was supposed to do. When I lost my job due to the retrenchment in June / July I got to spend more time at home and more time with my mom and I remember feeling more and more that what I had been considering was right for me, for N & I.

I posted before on how I couldn't see myself as a mother and how I wasn't sure if I ever wanted children but boy have things changed!! Its like a switch went off and I can't think of much else. We agreed that we'd start TTC next year. So I called my gynecologists office to make an appointment, usually there's a three to four month waiting list but suddenly we were in luck and got an appointment for November 5th. Of course to me this was a very positive sign (sign no. 1).

N and I went to the appointment and the three of us discussed everything from my cycle to how the IUI procedure would work. He did the internal exam and showed me where everything was and where everything would go during the insemination. He also did a pap smear and a progesterone blood test, for which I am still awaiting the results. When we were done he said "So we'll be trying for your next cycle will we?". I was shocked and hadn't considered doing it this soon but I took it as another positive sign (sign no. 2).

How its going to work is my first AF day I'll call and make the appointment for 14 days time. They'll give me the names of the sperm banks which they recommend and I'll contact them and set up an appointment. If need be I'll be put on Clomid for a short time. On the insemination day I'll collect the sperm (or it will be delivered) and go to the gyne's office where he'll perform the procedure.

He said that he'll do IUI up to six times before resorting to further investigation if I don't fall pregnant. He said there's a less than 25% (if my memory serves me correctly) chance of falling pregnant each time as the sperm is not as good a quality, due to being frozen and defrosted, as "fresh" sperm.

I've been reading tons of TTC blogs and am totally aware that this might be a very long journey. I've read of some couples trying for two years without any luck, I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle that disappointment time and time again, but I'm definitely willing to try.

So with that our TTC journey begins.....